If Elvis Ain't Dead - Tagged

[Jia Lei Yang]

|| TAG:Nathaniel Cordova|| WORDS: 0 ||
|| NOTES: ... ||

Jia had never felt as nervous in years, in fact feeling anything in years had been the issue and now she was stood in the middle of a complete mess in her room. A few weeks ago and she would never have cared what looked okay, what was good and what went with what. None of it mattered at that point until now, now when she was trying to make a good impression for someone who had seen her in a combat uniform. Not the sexiest thing in the world but then she was hardly going out to train or fight for the military.

She tried to reason that they had been engaged before but that was then and this was now. Staring at the entirety of her wardrobe strewn over the bedroom, Jia reached for one of the few dresses she owned. Dark blue in colour she picked it up, held it to herself before throwing it back in the wardrobe with the rest of her things. Opting for a more comfortable pair of black jeans, a light blue blouse and a black leather jacket. It was practical she figured, she already had her hair done, make-up attempted and jewellery too.

Glancing in the mirror as he decided it was about as her as it was going to be, she set off out to go and do the one thing that made her nervous. Meet Nate, yes dead Nate. That Nate, the one who was dead, was now alive and she was meeting. Talking to herself as she made her way to the agreed meeting place, all she could do was tell herself it would be fine. It was meeting an old friend or fiancé and how bad could it be? No, her brain had done all kinds of twists on the bad versions of it.

Jia stood at the corner on the street they said to meet at. She nervously clutched her bag as she looked around, she was early but then she normally was. Her military service might have stopped but on time was still ten minutes late in her mind. Even if it felt like she was waiting for the call again, the word that Nate had gone or was deployed or the worst one. Completely gone. No she was just early she told herself trying to look normal, or as normal went these days.

Red☠Frost

[Nathaniel Cordova]

[attr="class","Natenah"]

[attr="class","Nateleft"] [attr="class","Nateleft2"]

[attr="class","Nateright"] Things were still awkward between Nate and… well, everyone, but at least he and Jia were trying to reconnect. When you'd been lying to your family and friends for this long, struggling to pick the pieces back up could be difficult. Once upon a time, when the two of them had done this, it had been a romantic evening out on the town. Now they were just two friends going out for dinner and drinks. Nate considered this a good place to start clearing the air. Jia, at the very least, could understand orders, being former military herself, even if she didn't agree with everything that came after. Nate had recently hung up the military uniform, exchanging it for a private security job. Cross Consolidated paid well but, more than that, it wouldn't tear him away from the people he'd already hurt. There were would be no secretive missions overseas – just a stubborn principal in Evan Cross. At least the man, by all accounts, had finally come to terms with having a security detail protecting him. For Nate, the change in career meant staying closer to the home front, and that was what mattered most. It would be his way of beginning to atone for all of the mistakes he'd made. Jia and Nate had agreed to meet halfway between their places – a semi-busy intersection corner familiar to both of them. Dressed comfortably in a traditional white button-up shirt, navy blue bomber jacket, and dark grey jeans, Nate didn't feel ready to face Jia – not by a long shot – but planned to show up ahead of schedule. The military was still ingrained in his DNA. Nate found her already waiting there, clutching her bag in something resembling a death grip. It seemed like he wasn't the only one who was tentative about tonight. Nate could face down scores of terrorists and impossible odds without batting an eyelash, but when it came to just about anything else, his nerves of steel faltered. "Jia," he called out, getting her attention, as he walked towards her. "Over here." Jia Lei Yang [attr="class","Nateright2"]

deltra of gangnam style

[newclass=.Natenah]width:450px;height:350px;border:solid 5px #69778b;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft]width:150px;height:350px;background-color:#71c7ba;margin-left:-3px;margin-top:-17px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft2]width:150px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/FZCRTtS.jpg?1);margin-top:-14px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright]width:300px;height:350px;background-color:#f1f1f1;margin-left:-78px;margin-top:-17px;overflow:hidden;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright2]width:300px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/pcG5rmh.jpg?1);margin-top:-357px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;position:relative;z-index:2;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Natenah:hover .Nateright2]margin-top:-7px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;[/newclass]

[Jia Lei Yang]

|| TAG: Nathaniel Cordova,|| WORDS: 0 ||
|| NOTES: ... ||

Jia was thinking at a million miles a minute, perhaps Nate would avoid the meeting. If she felt awkward or nervous then surely Nate would too and Jia knew she had wondered about what would happen. If it was a good idea or if things would just go wrong. The military seemed like an easy option while she stood there or it had been, to her she knew that life inside and out but then Nate ‘died’ and she hated that life. How did someone come back from the dead she wondered, beyond the obvious she had to wonder how Nate would cope with it. It was bad enough believing it until recently.

The anger had faded at least most of it, yes she was angry at the people who did it but then orders were orders and if the shoe had been on the other foot. She knew she would have done the exact same thing, which made her angry to a point. Now however it was the nerves that seemed to get to her, the nerves to do with meeting the person she had planned to marry for a friends outing. Her brain hurt just trying to run though the possibilities, maybe he would forget about it or not turn up at all. Too painful and maybe that would be easier.

Jia barely knew if his family was aware he was back or alive even as she heard his voice. Glancing over to Nate she smiled, a genuine happy to see him smile as she walked toward him. “Nate, glad you could make it.” She replied stepping over to him, relieved that he was there as she could barely stop herself from staring at him. It had been a dream many a time that he would walk through the door at their old place; he would be back and laughing about a mistake that had been made. Hardly funny but staring at him seemed to make it real.

Jia reached out and poked at his arm for a moment, a test to make sure he was actually real and stood there. Not just imaginary and she had dreamt the whole thing up. “Yeah, you’re actually real.” Jia stated grinning for a moment. “So how are you finding the city of Chicago? Better question, how are you doing with all of... well everything?” She asked unsure what the first question should be. She had a few but then finding an appropriate time to ask was key, she also knew that Nate had once talked to her as she had confided in him so asking how he was. Jia thought it was a good place to start.

Red☠Frost

[Nathaniel Cordova]

[attr="class","Natenah"]

[attr="class","Nateleft"] [attr="class","Nateleft2"]

[attr="class","Nateright"] The two of them couldn't keep tiptoeing around each other forever. Sooner or later, he and Jia would need to talk about everything that had happened. Tonight might serve as their first tentative steps in that direction. Where they ultimately ended up was anybody's guess. Already a bundle of nerves, this almost felt like asking Jia out for the first time. Their relationship had worked – for a time. In faking his own death and leaving Jia in the dark, Nate had managed to ruin that too. Nate had no intentions of destroying Jia's entire life again but, in that respect, he shouldn't have been surprised by her initial reaction to him. Jia started poking him – her way of making sure he was real. As she continued prodding, Nate folded his arms under his chest, shaking his head, but fighting back a small chuckle. The humor might have been a little grim, focused on both death and sanity, but at least a kernel remained. "Are you satisfied yet? You're not hallucinating." That's when Jia surprised him by asking about Chicago – a nice, safe choice. Maybe it was best to start small with casual conversation. Save the heavier stuff for a little bit later. In truth, Nate hadn't really slowed down to form an opinion about the city. Strangely, the other question which followed on its heels might be the easier one to answer. Like it or not, Nate knew he stood on precarious ground. "You're talking to me at least. That's more than most." So, currently, the list of people that didn't despise him stood at one. Everyone else remained a work in progress. Even his own parents didn't quite know how to take the news of his return. It seemed every effort Nate made only led to unclimbable brick walls. This, at least, was more akin to a long, winding path. Trying to break the ice, he flashed her an old, familiar smile. "You look good, Jia." Jia Lei Yang [attr="class","Nateright2"]

deltra of gangnam style

[newclass=.Natenah]width:450px;height:350px;border:solid 5px #69778b;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft]width:150px;height:350px;background-color:#71c7ba;margin-left:-3px;margin-top:-17px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft2]width:150px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/FZCRTtS.jpg?1);margin-top:-14px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright]width:300px;height:350px;background-color:#f1f1f1;margin-left:-78px;margin-top:-17px;overflow:hidden;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright2]width:300px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/pcG5rmh.jpg?1);margin-top:-357px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;position:relative;z-index:2;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Natenah:hover .Nateright2]margin-top:-7px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;[/newclass]

[Jia Lei Yang]

|| TAG: Nathaniel Cordova,|| WORDS: 0 ||
|| NOTES: ... ||

Her humour was attempted, it was tough going when all she could think about was the supposed dead man in front of her that she had poked for herself and found to be just as real as ever. “Satisfied... far from it. You’ve so much explaining to do Nate but at least I’m satisfied I’m not hallucinating. It’s the bonus so far since I wished and prayed for you to be alive every day for last...” Jia knew there was no use in even finishing that sentence. She ran a hand through her hair before she took a much needed calming breath. Meeting was turning out to be more difficult than the choice not to shoot him back at the warehouse.

Perhaps her thought that the anger had gone were a little premature though she was trying not to punch his arm just to be satisfied in the sense that she could. The safe choice in question seemed to work better; no feelings involved just a neat safe question before anything substantial. In fact she had a million questioned stored up and the more she had thought about the evening the more she wanted to ask.

Jia was surprised that her talking to him was more than most; Nate was back from the dead. In what state she still needed to gather that but he was alive, how many people got that chance? At the same time she also knew it was difficult, seeing him had made her feel like she was insane. Talking to him that first time more so and then angry which what had happened followed by confusion and more anger. “It just takes time and it’s a shock too but in a good way. People will come around, trust me and you know I’ll talk to you as much as you want me to. I’ll listen too if you want to talk.” Jia offered not wanting him to feel like he was on his own with it.

So yes she could scream at him for leaving but then she thought he was dead, Nate knew he was alive and had left anyway without contacting anyone that she knew to say otherwise. The more she thought on it the harder it seemed to be for him rather than her given she at least had a closure to it. The moment Jia saw that old, familiar smile she found herself able to relax before laughing in her usual way. “Thanks.” She said with a grin, the familiar butterflies in her stomach the moment she heard those words. “Looks like you need to go for an eye test though. Here how many fingers are there?” She teased waving three fingers in front of his face for a moment.

Her eyes wondered over him taking in the sight of him alive once again, he looked good too though was it awkward to say to back to him? “You look good as well, you know for a back from the dead guy.” She joked in an attempt to try and keep things light for at least another moment or two longer as she bit her lip nervously. “You said that once things were over that you’d tell me everything.” Jia said keeping her question or statement as broad as possible. “If your mission is over then I’d like to ask why you and why in general did you accept it?” Jia asked not entirely sure she wanted the answer.

If she was entirely honest, her mind had circled those first few days after she found out he was alive. The question of why to everything? Why Nate? Why then? Why had he told her nothing beyond the obvious orders answer she was sure he could have left a note or a message? The thought that maybe he wanted to get away ran through her mind, was it the engagement? The idea of spending time with her and was that the reason he accepted the assignment? Play dead and that version of life disappears and no one would know the different. The why was the question she wanted to know but the why applied to mostly all questions she had in some way or another.

Red☠Frost

[Nathaniel Cordova]

[attr="class","Natenah"]

[attr="class","Nateleft"] [attr="class","Nateleft2"]

[attr="class","Nateright"] Truthfully, Nate didn't think he could apologize enough for everything he'd done, even if he spent a lifetime trying to atone. His actions, carefully measured and considered, had hurt a whole lot of people in the process. Yet what Jia said made some sense too. Coming back from the dead was a lot to take in. At the very least, if Nate wanted, he would have someone to confide in. He just needed to give everyone else a little bit more time. They might start to come around. "You may be right." This was the woman Nate had crushed on for weeks before he'd worked up the nerve to ask her out; that he'd fallen in love with; that he'd asked to marry. Even back then she could make a military uniform look good. Nate didn't need an impromptu eye test to see that he still cared for her. He couldn't just shove those feelings aside. But here they were back at square one, trying to figure things out. Repairing their fractured relationship would take work. Nate trusted her implicitly, but he'd betrayed hers. That would start by upholding some of the promises he'd made upon his return. The long, awkward pause as he tried to figure out what to say didn't help matters. "I did make that promise, didn't I?" Beyond orders coming down from top brass, Nate didn't know he had a good reason for skipping out on their life together. The very nature of his work necessitated keeping some secrets, but nothing about this mission had even gone as planned. Nonetheless, Nate owed Jia that explanation and he'd start with her question. "In my defense, I didn't think this would take years, but to answer your question... I don't know. Maybe I've been doing this too. I don't know how to pass on the adrenaline rush. Even this new security job makes me feel like I'm standing still." That almost sounded like he was planning to pull up roots and run. Maybe find something where he could embrace the danger again. In actuality, that was the furthest thing from Nate's mind. Now that he was back, having reconnected with Jia, amongst others, he had no intentions of leaving. "The truth is, Jia, I thought about you every day -- about us. If I could have, I would have wanted you watching my back." Jia Lei Yang [attr="class","Nateright2"]

deltra of gangnam style

[newclass=.Natenah]width:450px;height:350px;border:solid 5px #69778b;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft]width:150px;height:350px;background-color:#71c7ba;margin-left:-3px;margin-top:-17px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft2]width:150px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/FZCRTtS.jpg?1);margin-top:-14px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright]width:300px;height:350px;background-color:#f1f1f1;margin-left:-78px;margin-top:-17px;overflow:hidden;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright2]width:300px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/pcG5rmh.jpg?1);margin-top:-357px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;position:relative;z-index:2;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Natenah:hover .Nateright2]margin-top:-7px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;[/newclass]

[Jia Lei Yang]

|| TAG:Nathaniel Cordova,|| WORDS: 0 ||
|| NOTES: ... ||

Jia grinned at Nate for a moment, “Oh you know I’m right.” She joked. Coming back into a world where people had already said goodbye, she could barely imagine it from Nate’s side of things. It was soul destroying from her side but then she had the option to move on. The more it played on her mind the more she wanted to kill him for dying on her, the first day she heard the news she swore he would walk through the door and it was some other guy. Anyone but Nate and the world was just confused.

Even when Nate had asked her out Jia thought he was talking to someone else, a guy like that interested in her? Then she dated him and the world seemed like the greatest place to be. The military took him away and the world was a less great place because of it but now, she was happy he was back. The world had a new shine to it but how was she supposed to feel, love, anger, tears oh those all for sure but she still cared for him. She could never forget or push that away.

Jia simply nodded when Nate spoke about that promise, it was a promise she wanted to hold him to simply because she wanted a truth or the truth. It hardly mattered which but an explanation as to why was high on her list. Would there be a set of magic words that would explain it all away, a sentence that could give her an idea as to why. She hoped so but as she listened it felt like she had been told the news he was dead all over again as he spoke about the adrenaline rush and the new job. Jia knew better than to assume but all of a sudden her brain was assuming he was leaving as she took a step back from Nate.

She had no words right then, no words to say about any of it and then he had to say that he thought about her. Jia was under no illusions that it would be tough reconnecting but never this tough. Her hands gripped onto her bag tighter for a moment. “Nate...” Jia said softly, she could feel herself on the verge of tears as she tried to be angry with him but it was too mixed up with worry and fear he would leave. “I would have watched your back, done anything for you. I really wish you would have told me. I thought about you everyday too, cried, talked to the sky about you wishing you could hear me and I even wished you back here, even wished it was someone else which is awful I know. I just, I lost the person I love once and now you’re leaving again?”

So he had said as much or at least to her ears it sounded that way. “In your defence, is that what it’s called now? It was okay to die for a week or a month while your job required it but four years is what? A little too long? Ya think!” Jia stated, her tone laced with sarcasm as she felt a few tears run down her cheeks. “You come back only to leave again to find another adrenaline rush? Do I now worry about you getting killed for real this time?” Jia asked not sure what to expect or what was happening as she decided to at least plead with him. “Please stay, for your family if nothing else Nate. There can be a new job, one more action packed just don’t leave.”

Red☠Frost

[Nathaniel Cordova]

[attr="class","Natenah"]

[attr="class","Nateleft"] [attr="class","Nateleft2"]

[attr="class","Nateright"] Nate practically snorted. That was one of the things he appreciated most about their relationship: the teasing and the fun. The way they so easily picked back up where they left off, it almost made him feel like he'd never been gone. Sliding back into their witty repartee, Nate fired back, armed with plenty of ammunition, a thin smile touching his lips. "Modest as ever I see." Reality hit him in the face like a ton of bricks a moment later. In truth, Nate probably should have seen it coming a mile away – not because the universe seemed to be conspiring against him, which might still be true considering everything to date, but because he'd gotten used to his life taking sharp turns downhill of late. In the grand scheme of things, why shouldn't it take one final plummet? That was how Nate found himself shaking his head as Jia reached the worst possible conclusion from what he'd said – the one thing he didn't want her to assume. There was a reason he'd joined the Army as a soldier and not become a literary scholar or writer. Words didn't come as easily to him as they did to some. He would probably always have issues expressing what he wanted to say. Nate tried again, hoping that his second attempt produced better results. "No, I... I'm not going anywhere, Jia. But I'd be lying if I told you learning to slow down and turn off that switch has been easy." Jia may not have officially known -- at least not in any capacity he could outright tell her -- but Deltas didn't wear patches on their uniforms to identify themselves. She should have been able to put the puzzle pieces together a long time ago. That assumption could have been a mistake. Whatever understanding they seemed to have reached had fallen out from under them. "That was always part of the job! What do you think I did all those years? I went undercover... I dropped off the grid... If I was captured or killed, I wasn't acting under orders. That's the life of an operative." Jia Lei Yang [attr="class","Nateright2"]

deltra of gangnam style

[newclass=.Natenah]width:450px;height:350px;border:solid 5px #69778b;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft]width:150px;height:350px;background-color:#71c7ba;margin-left:-3px;margin-top:-17px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft2]width:150px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/FZCRTtS.jpg?1);margin-top:-14px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright]width:300px;height:350px;background-color:#f1f1f1;margin-left:-78px;margin-top:-17px;overflow:hidden;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright2]width:300px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/pcG5rmh.jpg?1);margin-top:-357px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;position:relative;z-index:2;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Natenah:hover .Nateright2]margin-top:-7px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;[/newclass]

[Jia Lei Yang]

|| TAG: Nathaniel Cordova,|| WORDS: 0 ||
|| NOTES: ... ||

It felt like Nate had just stepped back into life after a few months deployment, the fun and teasing that could easily slide back into their relationship. Even that smile she would give anything to see, right there again as Jia found herself laughing. “Of course, what did you expect?” She asked grinning though the light hearted joking and teasing soon gave way to the words and thoughts that made smiles disappear in an instant. Jia hated to put a cloud over anything and she loved the fact that he still had a sense of humour, death could only kill so much she wanted to say but there was a time and a place.

Even when Nate shook his head, Jia had to wonder if she had gotten the wrong end of what he said but he said he was leaving again in a roundabout way. She had forgotten just how words were far from the easiest thing in the world for him, she was guilty of it too or at least jumping to the wrong conclusion. “Okay, lead with that next time okay. You’re not going anywhere.” She said as if confirming for herself what he was saying. “I want you to learn to be you, just you at whatever speed that is but I can’t deny you not being in the military anymore... I’m not going to say that I’m not glad. Because I am.” She stated deciding that lying about that was a mistake.

Jia had hated the military for so long it hurt to hate it anymore, knowing Nate had a security job was something she knew he could do with his eyes closed and hands tied but no military involvement was a peace of mind situation. At least by way of no more notifications. Jia rolled her eyes when he tried to explain what he did all those years. “You really think I didn’t know what you did? I thought you were a travelling sales man but prove me wrong.” She said almost wanting to laugh a little, “I was military police, I know what you did but you always came home. You went and did what you had to do but you always came home, no matter what, six weeks, three months, six months it didn’t matter. I could always trust that you’d come home Nate.”

It worried her yes but then what person could honestly see a loved one leave and not worry their butt off about it. “I should have figured you’d come home, always said you would so you cheated death to do it.” Jia said, laughing as she hid her face behind her hands for fear of looking insane. She was mad at him, laughing what was wrong with her? “Are you sure your ‘operative’ life is done Nate?” Jia asked him trying to be serious but the irony of coming back four years later; her trust had a foundation which made her happy and mad in equal parts. “I’m sorry Nate, I...” Jia hardly knew what to ask him about first. “How are you doing? I mean truthfully, are you happy? Do you need anything in Chicago?” She asked trying to keep things as normal as talking to a once dead man could be. Jia even reached out her hand again, hesitating as she attempted to poke Nate’s arm just to make sure he was there still.

Red☠Frost

[Nathaniel Cordova]

[attr="class","Natenah"]

[attr="class","Nateleft"] [attr="class","Nateleft2"]

[attr="class","Nateright"] Nate knew he couldn't expect this to be easy. Trying to talk to Jia after all of this time left him confounded at every turn. He couldn't have forgotten how to talk to her – it had always come so naturally to him, even for someone that struggled to find the right words – but explaining himself ended with a fiery crash. At least he'd managed to jump out beforehand with a parachute – the last bit of hope he was clinging to. Through all of this, whatever his own failings, Jia still hadn't kicked him to the curb. As Jia repeated what he'd said – a way to reassure herself he wasn't leaving, perhaps – Nate nodded. If Nate could stop approaching everything in such a roundabout way and just say what he meant… but nerves, amongst other problems, were all playing a part in his inability to do just that. If only Jia could talk for the both of them. She was much better at that than he was. In a job that ranked amongst the most dangerous in the world, his promise to always come back home had not been made lightly. On missions halfway across the globe, despite the high level of training that went into making and maintaining an operative, the chances something could go horribly wrong were always present. For Jia, unfortunately, that fear had seemingly turned into a reality because of a decision he'd made. The only thing that kept this conversation from becoming too morose was keeping up a dark sense of humor. "Yeah, I am pretty healthy for a dead guy, right?" Private security utilized many of the same skills Nate had relied upon in the military, but in an environment that tended to be less dangerous – something that would no doubt be welcome to Jia. Every little moment with here now was filled by a rush of competing emotions. Her own apology, followed by what felt like loaded questions, caught Nate completely off-guard. For the first time since coming back, Nate truly lowered his barriers. "I'm not entirely sure it's possible to repair this mess, so no, not really." Jia Lei Yang [attr="class","Nateright2"]

deltra of gangnam style

[newclass=.Natenah]width:450px;height:350px;border:solid 5px #69778b;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft]width:150px;height:350px;background-color:#71c7ba;margin-left:-3px;margin-top:-17px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft2]width:150px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/FZCRTtS.jpg?1);margin-top:-14px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright]width:300px;height:350px;background-color:#f1f1f1;margin-left:-78px;margin-top:-17px;overflow:hidden;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright2]width:300px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/pcG5rmh.jpg?1);margin-top:-357px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;position:relative;z-index:2;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Natenah:hover .Nateright2]margin-top:-7px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;[/newclass]

[Jia Lei Yang]

|| TAG: Nathaniel Cordova,|| WORDS: 0 ||
|| NOTES: ... ||

Each moment she had imagined Nate coming back; there was never anger, confusion or any mix of emotion that she felt right then. The joy and tears of happiness were now fighting against the doubt, the worry and anger for the reasons he had left in the first place. The words she took for him leaving again, it hurt but the explanation that made the words he wanted to say more understandable to her. Since when did communication become an issue for them at all?

The words she wanted to say were shrouded in doubt and fear that saying them might make him disappear again, the last thing she wanted even if she had no clue how to say that. Would it be too much or too little? Was anything even enough right then as she stared at him trying to work out how things had gotten to the point the seemed to have an issue in even talking. Then again her conversations with him had been pretty one sided the last few years to waiting on an answer was like, well waiting for the dead to rise.

Jia found herself laughing again, she hated when he did that. Laugh when she wanted to cry and all because he did look pretty healthy for a dead guy. Jia eyed him carefully nodding, “Hmm figured you would at least rise from the dead well fed, you look a little skinny to me... skeleton like huh.” She teased, bad humour but still it felt easy to slide back to that given he started it, which was usually her fall to excuse for about everything until the conversation turned to his job. There was no doubt in her mind that she would have loved to hear him say he’d become a teacher, had a desk job or did something that took him out of the line of fire.

If he had then she would have been dragging him to the emergency room to be checked out or assume his soul had been stolen while pretending to be dead. Quiet and risk free was as far from the Nate she knew as possible. For the first time after the loaded question she heard it, the Nate that lowered the barriers and he spoke. It broke her heart to hear that he was unhappy and unsure the mess could be repaired. Words were overrated when it came to a situation like this, she had no idea what was called for, a huge bottle of vodka and glasses maybe but it was unlikely to be on hand.

Instead, Jia hardly cared if he said no; there was little option to say that as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging Nate tightly as she pressed her lips to his cheek. “You listen to me right now, it’s possible to repair any mess if you want to. You’re alive so that is a damn good start okay.” Jia said firmly, “And I want you to be happy Nate, more than anything in the world. I’m sure there have been bigger messes than this fixed and if anyone can do it, it’s you. Believe in yourself because you're doing a pretty good job already.” She meant every single word she said though she had no idea if a bigger mess could exist because it was the biggest in her life at that moment. “Besides just keep yourself alive or bad guys will be the least of your worries, trust me.” She added smiling happily.

Red☠Frost

[Nathaniel Cordova]

[attr="class","Natenah"]

[attr="class","Nateleft"] [attr="class","Nateleft2"]

[attr="class","Nateright"] Each time Nate tried walking off the edge of a cliff, Jia managed to rein him back in. Things should never have reached this point – their communication used to be so good. Nate hoped it would be again. There were other things he wanted to try explaining, but finding the right words could be a challenge. Yeah, everything felt like it was spiraling out of control, only a few things keeping him afloat in an otherwise tumultuous ocean. Her attempt at humor fell on deaf ears as Nate caught himself staring into her eyes and broke contact, opting instead for the ground. The concrete sidewalk, with its myriad weaving cracks, seemed a much safer option. The first time, as two enlisted soldiers, Nate fell for Jia he'd been staring into those same warm, dark eyes. They would never fail to draw him in, whether the two of them were seeing each other or not. Nate had always been honest with Jia. If she was right, if this could be fixed, then that's what he needed to be with her again, if he wanted to repair their friendship. By offering to listen earlier – whatever he wanted to say – Jia had already made the first overture. The next step was his to take. He just actually had to take it. Maybe… maybe coming out was a bad idea? Nate pushed past the hesitation – something that got you killed on the battlefield – and just said it. "I… I've been drinking, Jia. Because I don't know how to fix this." Jia Lei Yang [attr="class","Nateright2"]

deltra of gangnam style

[newclass=.Natenah]width:450px;height:350px;border:solid 5px #69778b;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft]width:150px;height:350px;background-color:#71c7ba;margin-left:-3px;margin-top:-17px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft2]width:150px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/FZCRTtS.jpg?1);margin-top:-14px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright]width:300px;height:350px;background-color:#f1f1f1;margin-left:-78px;margin-top:-17px;overflow:hidden;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright2]width:300px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/pcG5rmh.jpg?1);margin-top:-357px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;position:relative;z-index:2;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Natenah:hover .Nateright2]margin-top:-7px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;[/newclass]

[Jia Lei Yang]

|| TAG: Nathaniel Cordova,|| WORDS: 0 ||
|| NOTES: ... ||

Jia had hoped it might have been easier, the awkward feeling of meeting someone you knew but now it felt like they were a million miles away. Communicating had never been an issue, talking they could do that and do it well and it was always honest. The right words now seemed too far away and the honest ones seemed too hurtful to voice. Yelling solved nothing though when she saw him staring into her eyes, the same old familiar feelings came over her. Those eyes of his that always held a galaxy of possibilities, he could read the most boring toaster manual and as long as she had his eyes and voice it was all she ever needed.

Corny as it was, his smile, eyes and voice, put those three things together and she was a hopeless goner before he even started with the humour. She never thought those eyes would look at her again but getting to stare into them once more, she could never take that for granted. Jia wanted to listen to Nate, to hear everything he wanted to say but until he spoke it out loud she was clueless.

Jia listened, that word. Drinking. Spinning in her mind and how did anyone manage to fix ‘this’ when this included drinking. “Thank you for being honest with me Nate. It means more than you know.” She said softly, was this the right thing to do anymore? To meet when things were obviously so far off track she had no idea where any right track was. Nate was being honest with meant a lot to her, if everything else fell apart they always had that, honesty was key.

Jia took a step towards him, holding out her hand to him before she took a much needed breath. “You don’t need to fix a thing on your own; there are two of us in this Nate. Just like it was before, we’ll work it out together, just take my hand and look at me please.” Jia almost pleaded as she reached out her free hand to place it gently against his cheek. Friends, partners, whatever ‘this’ was, Jia would make sure that Nate was okay and drinking was far from Nate being okay to her.

“If you want to stop drinking and if you want to fix things.” She explained, trying to stare into those eyes so she could see the truth of anything that was there. “I will help you in any way I can because I want to fix this too if you want to. Anytime you want to talk you call me, text or you come over to my place. It doesn’t matter what time or day, just be honest with me. It’s what we’re good at. So tell me Nate, what is in that beautiful mind of yours that makes you think this cannot be fixed?”

Red☠Frost

[Nathaniel Cordova]

[attr="class","Natenah"]

[attr="class","Nateleft"] [attr="class","Nateleft2"]

[attr="class","Nateright"] Okay, well, maybe not everything was beyond repair. Somehow, as everything else crumbled down around him, Jia refused to leave his side. Nate didn't know what he'd done to deserve this, whatever this was now, but those answers might come in time. Considering Nate had already been arrested by her, things could only go up from here. He couldn't put his finger on one crucial detail: whether the two of them were to rediscover friendship or another kind of partnership. Jia, despite her best efforts to repair his fractured life, seemed just as confused, her own actions stuck somewhere in between. Elsewhere each step seemed to be one mistake after another. Instead of welcoming his sister with open arms, Nate had kicked Grace out of his house when she'd finally decided to reach out. The gesture, in his mind, too little too late. The last thing Nate wanted to hear from Grace was more hypocrisy. She certainly didn't get to judge him for his drinking. One visit had driven an irreparable wedge into their relationship. If he couldn't find common ground with his own sister, then who could he find common ground with? Nate reached out for Jia's hand – a tentative motion which reflected his uncertainty. As he stood there on a street corner, trying to find the right words, Nate stared back blankly. He didn't think this mess could be repaired because it couldn't. Maybe that was the alcohol talking now, but Nate didn't think so, since he'd mostly left the bottle alone for tonight. "I'm no longer speaking with Grace or my parents. Is that supposed to be an improvement? Fixable?" Jia Lei Yang, [attr="class","Nateright2"]

deltra of gangnam style

[newclass=.Natenah]width:450px;height:350px;border:solid 5px #69778b;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft]width:150px;height:350px;background-color:#71c7ba;margin-left:-3px;margin-top:-17px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateleft2]width:150px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/FZCRTtS.jpg?1);margin-top:-14px;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright]width:300px;height:350px;background-color:#f1f1f1;margin-left:-78px;margin-top:-17px;overflow:hidden;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Nateright2]width:300px;height:350px;background-image:url(https://i.imgur.com/pcG5rmh.jpg?1);margin-top:-357px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;position:relative;z-index:2;[/newclass]
[newclass=.Natenah:hover .Nateright2]margin-top:-7px;-webkit-transition: all 1s ease; -moz-transition: all 1s ease; -o-transition: all 1s ease;[/newclass]

[Jia Lei Yang]

|| TAG: Nathaniel Cordova ,|| WORDS: 0 ||
|| NOTES: ... ||

Jia wished she could fix things for Nate; she had no idea why in her own mind given she felt angry he left. Angry that he had even accepted a job like that but she knew there was no turning down orders and no changing them to suit. Even stood on the side of the street she had no idea what they were doing, dancing around an issue? Maybe, trying to fix a relationship of what kind she had no idea. Everything seemed so awkward compared to what it had been but was she wrong to compare it?

All she wanted to do was make sure he was okay, in whatever form that took and sure when she arrested him. The idea of knowing he was in a jail cell, safe from the world outside it had its plus points. Now she knew he was drinking, he told her and she knew he had a security job. The two were not the sort of things that went hand in hand but trying to think beyond that pavement. Beyond that street, Jia had no idea what was the right way anymore.

The relief when Nate reached out for her hand was clear to see in her face, if he looked. The minute she felt his hand in hers, Jia tightened her hold on it, afraid of what might happen if she let go. It was a certain gesture; as Nate disappearing again, would mean the world was ending, again. The blank stare Nate held seemed far from the man she knew, the one who had been so sure of himself when they met to the moment he left. “Honestly, I’d say that isn’t an improvement.” Jia said smiling as she squeezed his hand. There was little point in lying when Nate seemed to have a pretty good idea that it was far from an improvement.

“But its fixable, anything is fixable if you want to fix it. So tell me, what happened with Grace and your parents? The whole story because I know from experience, yes I wanted to throw you in jail but that was just the first day. Honestly, I can’t tell you how good it is to see you, to know you’re alive and safe. Thinking they might feel similar apart from the jail part.” Jia admitted trying to at least voice what she thought and felt. “What happened Nate?”

Red☠Frost