My Little Girl (Tagged)

[Donald Anderson]

Donald could no longer stand to be in the same city as his daughter and for her not to know. He had tried to keep a relative distance from her trying to work out what the reception would be. Happy or angry? He was unsure on both counts though all he wanted was his little girl back in his arms. He had waited for the records to be available only to have his hands tied by the military and then to find her face on a newspaper. The similar face that he could have sworn was that of his wife Mary, she looked just like her in the photo.

He wanted to make a good first impression as he had chosen his best suit and tie. The suit was almost uncomfortable but it reminded him of his military service and for today, anything that felt like a normality he was trying to reach for. His shoes were shined to the military standard, not a crease in sight on his shirt as he headed for the fire house. Don had thought it was the better place to approach this as invading her home now, he had no idea where that was. No a familiar setting for her too he thought unless she had no idea who he was.

It was possible, she had been six, just six years old and now he was showing up again after spending half a life time trying to track his daughter down. Don had stopped off at a florists to try and get a bunch of flowers she liked, it was only when he was ordering them that he remembered he had no clue what kind of flowers she like. If she liked them at all, after snapping at the florist who had only tried to direct him to a bunch of sunny daisies he decided that one of everything was right.

At least that way he knew he had covered the various possibilities as he watched the woman look at him as if he had lost his mind. The flowers were wrapped with cellophane and ribbon and that was that. He parked outside the fire house sitting there for a moment making sure he had what he wanted to her. He had nothing, out of so much there was to say all he wanted to do was to lay eyes on her again after all this time.

With that Don got out of the car, flowers in hand as he made his way toward the fire house. He walked in through the open front doors as he cautiously looked around for a sign of anyone. This was the most nervous he had been since he had proposed to Mary all that time since or maybe the day he was stood in the delivery room and he thought he was going to have a heart attack. This was a day that was up there with those as he tried to keep himself calm and not worry about it.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

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[attr="class","lost1"]Stephanie Taylor

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[attr="class","mouths1"]
Kelly was barking orders at her. Timed drills were a pain in the ass. Stephanie had the dummy in hand and was dragging it out. Slower than her usual she was still favoring her leg but had only been back at work a few days. She wasn’t back on squad officially until she passed all her drills. Which meant ALL of squad was stuck on drills. Needless to say most them were not happy to be drilling everyday. Stephanie was inside and trying to pass the dummy out on the ladder to Ben just on the other side of the ledge.

Today was a much better day for her shoulder than in recent months. She was glad for it as she helped the dummy over the edge. “This gets heavier everyday” She informed Ben. Though she was mostly joking.

“Harris, move it!” Her married name never stuck on squad, not with two Taylor’s running around. Capp was probably as annoying as Kelly was on some days.

As if on cue she heard Kelly giving her the opposite orders to what Capp had just been saying. “Harris, hold up.” Weren’t they on a timer? Hold up? Who was he kidding?

“We are on a timer Captain.” Stephanie

“How’s the leg?” Really he was choosing now to ask about her leg?

“I’m good to go.” Cue the monumental eye roll where he couldn’t see things. Then he hollered something about if she needed a break from drills to let him know. Stephanie continued where she had left off and followed Capp back “inside” as they continued with the drill. This time Stephanie got the dummy on her shoulders and was able to bring it out. When the timer finished she looked at Ben and shook her head. “I’m calling it quits for right now. I need something to drink.” She never liked to admit when she was running on empty but that was her polite way of saying she had enough for right now.

Stephanie repelled down the side of the building and unhooked her harness. She pulled her long hair down out of her ponytail. “Gopher. Catch” She tossed him a water and then elbowed him smirking. Though her smirk turned into a look of confusion when she caught sight of an older man with flowers in his hand. Stephanie wasn’t really a flower person, though Ben had been known on occasion to surprise her with Sunflowers and now she more or less sort of enjoyed them though her thought was far from the flowers in the man’s hand.

He looked familiar. Time had passed sure, but she knew that face. Stephanie rubbed her eyes and tried not to look in that direction. No, she couldn’t be seeing a ghost could she? “I think I am seeing things?” It was more of a question directed at her husband than it was a statement. Achilles could sense that she was feeling a bit off and trotted over encircling her legs rubbing against her more like a cat than a dog.

She’d been the first to see the man, it would be rude firehouse manners not to greet him. Stephanie stepped around the Rottweiler to go and speak to him “Can I help you?” Stephanie tried to keep the hesitation out of her voice and was looking back at Ben, hoping he’d follow suit. Stephanie was pouring down sweat and looked far from the girly girl she had once been when she was young. Time had turned her from ribbons and curls into what she was now. The scarring was visible on her arms given that she was wearing her short sleeved T-shirt. Who was he and why did he look like her dad? Was this some kind of game?

[attr="class","lying1"]✎ Donald Anderson
Kelly courtesy of Firegirl (used with permission from IM)

ulla

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[Donald Anderson]

Donald could hear the orders barked at people but it was strange to be stood there. Unfamiliar ground that he wanted nothing more than to be familiar with for once in his life again. He had missed out on so much and now he just wanted his daughter to know him, to get to know her all over again and hope that she could understand all that had happened.

Ben was stuck on drills with the rest of Squad as he watched Stephanie favour her leg, he wondered if she would be up to the challenge though her shoulder seemed to be a lot better as he grinned at her. “Yeah? You’re telling me. Think they might have weighted it more this time.” Ben joked as he took the dummy rolling his eyes as he heard the move it Harris comment. Ben almost wanted to correct the guy for using the wrong surname but then two Taylors it would just get too confusing on a call for who was doing what.

“Calling it quits, Harris that’s not like you.” He teased grinning at her, “But yeah agreed, drinking would be good right now.” Ben was hardly a drinker at all so a few beers and he felt the effects pretty quickly. Then again timed drills and all he wanted was an ice pack a bottle of anything a little tougher than the beer in the fridge. Ben caught the water tossed at him as he laughed when he felt her elbow him. “Cheers Cutie Pie.” He called back figuring that they were married so at least could call each other names in front of the others.

Ben watched Stephanie’s reaction to the man holding the flowers, maybe just a thankful parent or relative he thought. Sure people came by at times so he hardly though anything of it until Stephanie mentioned seeing things. “Nope, you’re not. There is a guy with a lot of flowers.” Ben stated glancing at the bunch that hardly matched at all as he just shrugged. He could hear her hesitation when Stephanie asked if she could help as he walked with her nodding when she looked back at him.

Something was off with it and he had no idea but Stephanie either knew the man or it was about to be an issue. He had no idea which as he gave her a little distance though close enough to hear and get her out of the way if he needed to. Ben was nothing but protective of her no matter if it was work or home there was no difference to him.

Donald jumped slightly as he had been unsure where or what direction to go in when he heard her voice. A simple question had been asked and Donald could barely form a word let alone figure out what he wanted to say to her. In the car it had been easier to tell her everything, to explain his side and what had happened but now with her stood right there all he could do was stare at her for a moment. He might have appeared startled but he was looking into the eyes of his daughter that looked just like his wife.

The eyes of that child who had ribbons and curls in her hair to the one he saw her the visible scaring on her arms and the woman who she had grown up to be. “I... urm .... yes.” He said fumbling for the right response as he could barely tear his eyes from her despite the fact he knew there was another fire-fighter lurking behind his daughter. Maybe her boss or a concerned colleague he thought for a moment as he held out the flowers for Stephanie to take. “Stephie, these are for you.” He said using the name he had longed to use for so many years. “I... I wanted to, to see you.” He added not entirely sure how any of this was going to go.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

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[attr="class","lost1"]Stephanie Taylor

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Stephanie had tried to put the past behind her. The hell that had come from that day the cattle she would still see in her nightmares. The screaming and the pleading. The Harris family had taken her in, raised her as their own. Part of Stephanie early on in life had wished her parents had still been around. But over the years she had come to the realization that her adoptive parents were her parents. The ones who had always been there when shit hit the fan so to speak.

Hip shoves ensued as Stephanie got off of the ladder. “Shove it Gopher!” She would harass him for teasing her, that’s just how it worked. Though she was laughing and seemed happy. Stephanie had never had an issue calling him Gopher in front of everyone. However, some of their nicknames were not for those ears in the firehouse. She was glad though that he followed her over when she approached the familiar looking figure.

Of course Ben was being protective. Typical male husband behaviour. She’d just started to get used to it. The men in her life were just… protective. Stephanie tended to butt heads with them in that department but it was hardly worth the argument at this current point in time.

Any hint of the midwesterner she would have sounded like years ago had been replaced with a slight southern country twang. She’d grown up in Georgia, and despite moving back to Illinois she’d lived in the South most of her life. Stephanie took a few steps in Ben’s direction.

“It’s Stephanie.” The woman was quick to correct being called Stephie. Still the running cattle and the screaming presented itself in her head. She started shaking. No, that face… that’s where she knew that face. He was older now… but… Stephanie was usually well solid on her feet but she was tripping over her boots trying to figure things out. Achilles could sense her panic and he started heading in that direction. Stephanie put her hand down on the dog’s collar.

Stephanie didn’t know what to say. She took a step forward. “You’ve got some nerve showing up here.” Where was he when she’d cried every night for him? Where was he when she had Zach, when Allison had been taken from her when she went off to the army, while she was being tortured and all she could see was his face. “Do you really think that showing up 2 decades later would be all sunshine and roses?” Stephanie bit her tongue and ruffled Achilles fur with her hand. The dog was growling lightly and watching Don out of the corner of his eye.

Stephanie’s face was solid. No tears. The flashbacks weren’t helping as she started mumbling something in Bulgarian. The same words she usually yelled when she wanted to be left alone. Though she’d been working on things and in recent weeks she reached for Ben more often than she had in the past. Tugging her husband’s hand close to her she wrapped herself under his arms. Eyes pierced at Donald as Stephanie started fidgeting with her bracelet. One of the many signs she was nervous and anxious. It was the little signs that meant being able to read between Stephanie’s emotions or she was just a ball of anger.

[attr="class","lying1"]✎ Donald Anderson

ulla

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[Donald Anderson]

Ben simply laughed when she hip shoved him and told him to shove it, her harassing him was normal though it worked for them. Every couple had that thing they did and this one was theirs. “Yeah yeah, I think you’d like it too much if I did Cutie Pie.” He teased her though seeing her happy was worth anything to him. Her smile could light up any room and her laugh to him was like the sweetest music around. It was however work so given what he might have called her he guessed she would be more appreciative of that behind closed doors and not the fire house.

Ben made sure he stuck close to Stephanie when he saw her take a few steps back in his direction. Ben had no clue who this man was but he obviously knew Stephanie a little though calling her Stephie, he had made that mistake once and had never made it again.

Donald nodded to her, of course she had grown out of Stephie he thought. She had been six when he called her that and now if she wanted to be called Stephanie he would do that for her. He watched the way the dog interacted with his daughter and the way she was tripping over her own boots. No he never wanted this for her, Donald considered making a well timed exit but then he could hardly walk away now.

He had found his daughter; finally the daughter he had searched for over years was right there. He had wished this day to run smoothly but despite what he wanted he knew there was no way that it would. “I am here now, I wanted to show up but...” Donald hardly knew what to explain first to her though if there was anything he wanted more it was to be there for her throughout everything. She was his daughter and he knew he had failed on the parenting scale.

Don could feel the tears in his eyes when she spoke about him showing up two decades later. The thousand times he had been over it in his head he never saw himself as the tearful type until now. Even the dog appeared to hate him. Donald watched when she reached for the guy with her, well there was something about being close in work but he guessed given the way this guy was looking at her it seemed to be a lot more than just friends.

Ben wrapped his arms around Stephanie protectively, he could see Achilles there too and her fidgeting meant that she was nervous and anxious. Over the past few weeks he had learned a lot and tried to figure it all out to try to help when he could. “It’s okay, just take a breath.” He whispered to her as he held her close to him before glaring at the man. The last thing Stephanie needed was someone else upsetting her anymore. She had been through enough recently.

Don slammed his fist against his leg for a moment, angry that he had left it so long to find her. It was no fault of his own but a system that kept him from his daughter until she was eighteen followed by daughter that went into the military. How could he have possibly been expected to find her without losing more time than he cared for. Not that it was Stephanie’s fault either, she had a life to live and he was glad she had done so.

“I never expected that, I just wanted to find you. I’ve been looking for you since I woke up and then you were gone... gone just like they were gone.” He said trying to fight the tears that fell down his cheeks as he wiped them away angrily. She looked just like her mother and how could he have screwed this up so badly, Don wished that the rest of them where there right now. The family he had lost twice, first when the accident happened and then all over again when he woke. Don took a few steps toward the two as he laid the flowers on the floor.

“I should have done this better... I tried looking for you but it was a sealed adoption until you were eighteen. There was nothing I could do; I tried Stephie I really did.” He stated as he moved away from the two of them. “I should go; sorry I bothered you two decades later I guess I just thought... thought that we might...” Don shook his head as he turned away from her, he never cried in front of family though that had ended that day. She was alright and grown up, really given he had missed her life so far it was all he could ask.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

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[attr="class","lost1"]Stephanie Taylor

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Stephanie had been happy, had been doing better. Ben was trying hard and despite their arguments Stephanie noticed. It had done a lot for their relationship, for her stress levels and for overall just a happier existence as a couple. Though Ben’s protective hold on her was more than welcomed, that wasn’t usually par for the course. ‘I am here now.’ Oh those words were fighting words and she could feel her body tensing up underneath Ben’s hug. It was all she could do to not go into some tangent about not being there for her and how James was her dad but she figured things were already hard enough on the both of them as it was. She didn’t need the added stress.

Ben’s voice it calmed her down, but she could hardly say she wasn’t still uptight. Usually she’d relax easier with just his soft whispers but right now she was angry, far angrier than she’d been in a long while. “I’m seeing Ghosts” she whispered in response soft enough that only he’d hear. She shook in his arms but did well not to show it in her outward stance.

At the mention of her biological mother and brother she clenched a fist. “Gregory is the only reason I am alive. You don’t think I don’t see his face in my nightmares after all these years?" Sure there were the Bulgarian nightmares but she’d never told Ben the story of her childhood, well life before the Harris family. “He pushed me out of the way. I had to watch..” She felt sick to her stomach trying to yell about it. She’d been six when she’d had her first taste of what death felt like so close so personal. Stephanie leaned back into Ben more.

“I’ve spent my entire career, here and in the military risking my life so that others can live. That’s what he taught me!” It had certainly taken its toll on her in the PTSD and the other mental issues she had. Then he started in on the whole sealed adoption thing and she heard that nickname again.

“It’s Stephanie.” She corrected him again. Deciding that maybe her life in her teenage years wasn’t any of his business. “I’m grown up now, and I’ve paid a heavy toll for the shit i’ve been through over the years.” If she had been living in Illinois still, then Zach and Allison wouldn’t have been here. Maybe she wouldn’t have gone into the military. Maybe she’d not have pulled the trigger and started to become immune to death.

“You want to sit here and make excuses after 20 some odd years? I was a cop, I was an investigator. So don’t sit here and tell me that you couldn’t find me." She’d been in Chicago the last 3 years after being discharged from the military. “I have a husband, children, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long while. The only reason I have made it this far is I have a family who has been there every time I have screwed up or fallen down. No one had to take me in. No one had to raise my son when I couldn’t. The weak make excuses.”

Stephanie was pulling on Ben’s arms to try and get free. Just like if she wanted to start a fight. She was beyond angry and she was spilling everything as she wasn’t thinking straight. The next time he called her Stephie she was going to put him into the ground. The only thing keeping her away right now was Ben. Achilles was whimpering because Stephanie was getting so upset and he couldn’t do anything about it, he pawed at Ben’s shoe. Stephanie tensed up and then relaxed as Achilles nudged her. “You think seeing a ghost is easy for me?” She broke down on Ben’s shoulder and cried. Stephanie didn’t cry easily, and certainly not where others could see her. “I’m not ready to handle this Ben.. I’m not.. I can’t..” She started blabbering softly and very incoherently.

[attr="class","lying1"]✎ Donald Anderson

ulla

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[Donald Anderson]

Ben had been trying; things so far seemed to be working out for their marriage and relationship a lot more than it had been. He had a better understanding of what Stephanie was going through and that was all he could have wished for because now. Now things were great, sure they argued but then what couple never did? A couple that lied their backsides off but Ben was happy and knowing Stephanie was happy too was all he could ask for. Ben could feel her tense under his hug as he kept his hold on her.

“Stephanie it’s okay, I can see him too. He’s there.” Ben said not knowing what was going on but if she thought this was some sort of episode she was in, no the guy was there. “Its alright just take a breath.” He said softly to her as he held her not sure what she was going to do or why this guy had her so upset. Sure flowers were iffy, he knew from trial and error that sunflowers were her favourite but he was sure looking at the different ones there would be one in there somewhere at least.

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t go over that day in my head, that I don’t hear the screams? I might not remember everything but I remember enough. I thought you were dead Stephanie and then you were taken from me.” Donald tried to make her understand but what could he do to explain it all. “None of you should have been there, I should have made you stay home with your mother and then... but I cannot change it. I wish I could, I’d do anything to have you all back.” He admitted.

Donald had his fair share of death, the Navy took care of that but never his family. He thought he knew pain until that moment and there was nothing like it. No heart wrenching moment that could compare to losing his family and nothing worse than waking up to realise that all over again. Donald nodded about Gregory, he was a great kid the kid he wished he could have seen grow up. “I know, he taught me too in many ways. I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you that day, I couldn’t even save Mary and I tried.” He said wanting her to know he had tried to do that.

Don just nodded when she corrected him again; he knew there was no six year old child there anymore. No Stephie anymore as he wondered if he had just ruined her life again though when he died he guessed she would have found it all out without him being there to explain. “Excuses, I make no excuses for the decades of looking for you. I was a Navy Pilot; I am a farmer I don’t know the first thing about looking for people and the state took you. Changed your name, I never got to see any record until you eighteen. By that time you had left the Harris house and they had a child there by that point. No eighteen year old in sight because you were military then. As if they would share information with a farmer.” Donald snapped back at her.

He never thought he would be investigating his own daughter and despite all his attempts, he had no badge to strong arm people with. Money never got him very far and he had to keep the business going to make sure he had enough money to keep trying to find her. “You... you’re married... and children?” He gasped realising he had missed his own daughter’s wedding day and birth of his grandchildren. “Weak is that really what you think of me?” Don watched her fight the man holding her though he half wanted to set let her go and she could have at him.

Ben was hardly going to let her go, despite her pulling to get free Ben simply held her there because fighting was only going to end badly. First off the man was a granddad now so beating up the older generation was hardly a good thing and second, he had a feeling Stephanie could take the guy down so Ben wanted to stop her from doing anything she regretted. Ben smiled and whispered an alright to Achilles when he pawed at his shoe. Ben simply kept his arms around Stephanie when she broke down. “You can, if anyone’s tough enough it’s you and he’s your dad. You get a second chance with your dad, at least hear him out and if you still want nothing to do with him. I’ll kick him out of this place for you.” Ben whispered though he wished he could get a second chance with his brother but he knew that was never going to happen, despite it all in his eyes Stephanie was lucky.

Don shook his head, “No I never thought this would be easy but do you think I did this lightly?” Don asked her not sure what she thought given all the time that had passed. “You look so much like your mother, the only reason I managed to find you was because your picture was in the paper and I saw Mary. I’ve looked for you for so long and if you want nothing to do with me I understand but I wanted you to know that I am here. That I did everything I could to find you and that all of this is up to you. The farm is still there and I just wanted to see my one remaining family member.” Don said, sure he used the word farm more like company though he had no idea if she even remembered that at all. All he wanted was his daughter that he had lost twice thanks to family he refused to speak with, no one ever sent his daughter away and got away with it.

Stephanie Taylor ,

[Stephanie Taylor]

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[attr="class","lost1"]Stephanie Taylor

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Ben holding onto Stephanie, it started to calm her as he kept calm. Though she was anything but calm before spouting off at Donald. “You can’t just make them come back. It doesn’t work like that. You can’t just change things.” Stephanie closed her eyes and leaned on Ben. She knew from trial and error. Ben’s hold on her it calmed her down but at the same time the more Donald and her yelled back and forth the more upset Stephanie became, and eventually of course she would try and break free.

“I watched my family die. I’ve been raped, kidnapped, tortured, held hostage. Surviving through the shit storm I have in my life comes with a price I pay everyday. If it weren’t for my parents and siblings and this firehouse..” She blinked her eyes open and then she closed them again. If it weren’t for all of that she wouldn’t be here and she knew it. Jim and Amelia were her parents. They always had been and always would be. They had raised Zach when she couldn’t, they had steered her back when she’d done stupid things. Then her siblings had taken to looking out for her. She had four amazing brothers who would go to hell and back for her.

She’d never so much as opened her adoption records. It had been too painful. Stephanie hardly knew much about her past. It was faces she recognized. She’d only remembered Greg’s name because that is what she had called him. She’d never called Mary or Don by their first names. “Someone had to look out for me. Aunt Natalie didn’t want to look out for me. She let them take me!” Aunt Natalie had been her mother’s sister. Stephanie didn’t care to know where that woman was or what she was doing.

That was not to discount Benjamin of course, from the moment he’d stepped into the firehouse… he had done nothing but show her that there was still an optimistic side to life. Ben was so much more a father to the children than Don could ever dream of being. “My husband is there for my twins. He didn’t HAVE to be a father figure to them. He didn’t have to take that responsibility. He chose it, you run from it. So yes, I do think you are weak or you would have knocked on the door that day.” Getting into the whole her brother is raising Allison thing was more complicated than she wanted to get right now but she knew Ben would step up to the plate when the opportunity presented. There was no doubt in her mind.

“That child is my son!” Zach had been three then. Right then and there Donald made himself a prime target. If he had gotten as far as the Harris house… then he could have stopped and spoken to them. Surely her parents would have said something. “And if you were there then you could have spoken to them. They would have called me.” She struggled harder to get away from Ben, she was livid now. “But you didn’t. You turned your back on me.” Stephanie wanted this to end. The memories in her head again over and over and over.

“My dad is in Atlanta Benjamin.” Stephanie whispered in Ben’s ear as she held onto him. Tears stained his shirt and his neck. Stephanie had cried before, but never this hard. This hurt more than she was going to say. “Parents don’t turn their backs on their children.” She added quietly. Stephanie definitely didn’t want to be heard. Achilles started rubbing on her leg and she reached down to pet him with her hand as she held onto Benjamin.

Stephanie had seen pictures of her mother. She’d known because the resemblance was hard to miss. Right the fire, the day she’d almost given her life to save Peter. “That paramedic is my brother!” Maybe it would hit home with Don what she’d done with her life now. What she’d been through. Steph rested on Ben’s shoulder. “I need to call Dr. Severide…” Stephanie very rarely bothered to keep appointments so Brittany had just told her to stop by when she needed to do so. Right now Stephanie knew she was on the edge of breakdown. Learning to control her PTSD hadn't been easy but she'd had people who cared helping her.

“I can’t go back to that place.” She was being honest with him albeit a bit snappy. The memories would ruin her, this was hard enough. Stephanie was breathing hard and felt like she wanted to run again. She could feel her body trembling. “The girl you knew, she died a long time ago.” Achilles scratched at Ben again, this time because his service harness was tangled up around the pair as he had been walking in circles. He whined as he tried to tug his paw out of the leash and harness. Stephanie moved such that she was facing Don again. “Maybe things would be different if you hadn’t walked away from me eleven years ago.” Sure she was eighteen and in the Army then but she could have knocked on the door to Jim and Amelia’s. Though she wasn’t sure how well that would have gone over. But she didn’t mention that part. "But excuses don't fly with me. There was lots of options."

[attr="class","lying1"]✎ Benjamin Taylor Donald Anderson

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[Donald Anderson]

Donald nodded to Stephanie. “You think I don’t know that already? How many times I’ve wished I could, prayed that I could have made different choices that day but I get that it cannot be changed.” Donald snapped as he watched Ben keep a hold on Stephanie. Ben knew how this went, he could keep her calm for so long but Donald was hardly helping himself. Ben knew that it was only a matter of time before Stephanie would try to break free and he hardly wanted her to hurt herself. If this man was her father then Ben wanted what was best for both of them, from a guy that only had one remaining family member left. Having a chance to let Stephanie know her own father again, he wanted that for her.

Listening to her list of what had happened in her life Donald wished he could have done something about it, stopped it from happening. If his sister-in-law had only taken her for those few years he would have made sure she was safe from all of that. “They have done a fantastic job in raising you and I just want to have the chance to get to know my daughter all over again. I am sorry for all that you’ve been through and I have no doubt that your new family have done right by you.” Donald said though even the words new family caused him pain to say.

“Natalie has to live with that for the rest of her life and deal with me too.” Donald said, oh Natalie had dealt with him over it too. Only a few times he had been pulled away from their house by the local PD though the officer was mainly understanding about it. After all she was the reason Stephanie had managed to escape him for so long, whatever might have been for their life he wanted it to be safe for his daughter and Natalie had prevented that in the worst way possible. “I would never have let them take you if I could have done anything about it Stephie..anie.” He said mixing up his words which hardly did anything to dull the sense of annoyance he felt with himself.

Ben smiled when Stephanie spoke about the twins, he often wondered if he was doing the right thing with them but no matter what he was there. Even if it was for someone to hate or yell at or simply glare at. He would do it simply because Stephanie meant the world to him as did the children no matter what they thought. Ben could have winced for Don when he heard what Stephanie said though he only chose to hold Stephanie that little bit tighter to make sure this was not the moment she made a charge for it.

“Your husband is a good man I am sure but knocked on the door to say what? To have this same argument when you were a teenager? To have to tell your parents that I wanted to take you home to live with your father... I had no idea. I thought I had lost you Stephanie. It took me long enough to find that house only to see your son. I had no idea who he was. They adopted you I thought he was another child they adopted.” Donald tried to explain though until she had lost someone and tried to search for them what made sense and what was the truth became blurred lines that were difficult to untangle.

“If my mind would have been functioning after finally tracking down and address and not seeing you there. Sure I might have been able to take that hit again but you have no idea what it was like, waiting to find that you’ve moved on. Wondering if invading your life is a good idea or should I just stay dead and have you call me a monster when you find out after I am dead.” Donald explained as he wanted to scream at her though he stopped himself. “I never turned my back on you, I’ve looked for you for years. Believe what you want to but never accuse me for turning my back.”

Ben listened to Stephanie talk about her dad, he had seen her cry before but nothing like this. He wanted to tell her it was okay but then he had never really had a parent come back from the dead before. He could see Achilles as he watched the two of them, this was hardly how he had seen the day going he thought as he tried to keep Stephanie as calm as possible. “Sure we can call her, I’ll take you to see her if you want.” Ben offered figuring that if she had asked it must be worse than anything he had seen her dealing with before.

Don listened to her as he nodded. “I am not asking you to. I want to know you, I want to know my daughter.” He stated knowing what was all he wanted in the world, they were different people now and Don knew that. He was no longer looking at that six year old he adored that had him wrapped around her finger, no he was looking at the adult version that had been through so much already. Don watched Ben try and step out of the harness that was tangled and save Achilles from tying himself up anymore.

“Yes there were and I made a wrong choice that day but I want to know you now. I had no idea what I was doing back then, I still have no idea now but you are my family and you matter to me Stephanie. I don’t care how long it takes but I want to be there for you and your family.” Don offered in whatever way she saw fit for that or even if she saw fit for him to be around at all. He was even looking at houses in Chicago to move to be closer to her but that all depended on what she wanted him to do.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

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[attr="class","lost1"]Stephanie Taylor

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The more Stephanie had to listen to Donald apologize the harder she struggled against Ben. Fine, if he wouldn’t let her go… Stephanie started to fight with Ben. She stuck her elbow out behind her aiming for his the side of his ribs. Tactical trained if she really wanted to, she could do so much more but maybe he would get the point and let her go? Though she seriously doubted he was going to make it that easy to get away. Her military training was making its appearance as she tried to force Ben to release the grip he had on her by use of his pressure points. Defensive tactics had it’s good points and bad points.

Donald was talking in circles. Then he was apologizing? Stephanie hated apologies. She started moving more tactically against Ben to get him to let go. In a matter of moments, Stephanie had snapped. She’d fight anyone who stood in her way. There was no differentiating right now. Ben was stopping her from her goal. Therefore, she had to free herself from him first. That was how it worked.

Stephanie was happy in the Harris family. She’d taken a while to adjust at first but she knew she could always pick up the phone and call, talk to any of them. With nine siblings and two parents there had always been someone who could give her advice. Not that she got much advice from her younger sisters but the point being she was there too when they needed her. Why was he even bothering to deal with Natalie? It was like wasting someone’s breath.

Stephanie wanted to make the comment that Ben was so much of a better father than he’d been but she was too angry to get words out anymore. “Ben let go.” Stephanie finally firmly demanded. Though it was clear in her body language she was in a fight mood and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

“I was happy. What gives you the right to come try and turn my family upside down now?” She was seeping with anger for years. Ben’s voice calmed her down a little bit but only enough that she stopped fighting against him. The tears were still streaming down her face. At Ben’s offer go go see Brittany she nodded. “I don’t really want to go but…. I can’t do this Ben.. I can’t.. too much inside my head right now... I need to sort things...“ Stephanie was trying to formulate words.

“You can’t just walk into things saying you want to be there. It doesn’t work that way.” No Stephanie’s trust was hard to earn and Don wasn’t winning himself any favors in that department. The cop in Stephanie wanted to tell him he was trespassing on county property. The firefighter in her was yelling that this was a public space and if someone wanted to come to the firehouse they could. It always had been an open door policy here.

Stephanie reached for Achilles once the dog had managed to untangle himself. But Ben untangling from the leash also meant she wasn’t being held anymore. Stephanie took a step closer to Donald and looked him in the eyes. “I don’t trust you. I don’t even know you. I suggest you take a step back and think about your next words very carefully.” Okay so she was threatening him but not throwing any punches. Breaking through the tough outer shell wasn’t as easy as Don was trying to make it. Ben had spent a good year just getting to know Stephanie and they were just now tearing down walls that were in their way and that had taken them every bit of these last two years. Even then there were still things they were working on.

[attr="class","lying1"]✎ Donald Anderson

ulla

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[Donald Anderson]

Ben was used to Stephanie fighting with him, it happened at times and he was all too keenly aware that she could outmatch him in a fight. His one saving grace was that he never usually let go, it hardly mattered how good a fighter she was he was more than willing to hang onto her until she got whatever it was out of her system. Much like today when he groaned in pain at her elbow connected with his ribs, sure it hurt but it was better that than Stephanie hurting herself.

The pressure points were a mean trick though despite it all Ben was hardly going to let her go. For one her father who rightly or wrongly was there and Ben wanted to skip the fight between the two. He had an idea that Stephanie might regret it later but then she was making it difficult for him not to let her go. Ben knew when things changed she was moving far too tactically for him to do much else than hang onto an arm, a leg or even try to get a better grip anywhere. It had been a while since Ben had fought with siblings or rather his one brother.

Even then his brother was more of a wrestler than a fighter, Ben had moved provided by the fire department but that was basic of the basic and he was hardly stopping Stephanie from running into a burning building. Attacking her father yes but where was the CFD class on that one? When she asked him to let go Ben shook his head. “Hell no.” Ben snapped, he was in pain and fighting with is wife for the greater good of a guy he never knew. He could see that her struggling was likely not to change which meant that he was hanging on in there until it did.

Don was stood watching the two of them, for a guy that obviously knew nothing about fighting. His technique of hold on for life, it worked to his surprise. Don might have stepped in but raising a hand to his daughter or even remotely trying to break the two up he could see would end badly. “I wasn’t trying to do that, I only wanted you to know that I am here. That I looked for you and if you wanted, I am here for you.” Don said which was practically what he should have started with and got into his car and driven off.

Watching his daughter stop fighting against her husband Don was relieved for a moment. Ben was refusing to let go of her again as he knew that it was only a moments worth of stopping. “Just relaxing, you can do this Stephanie. You’re stronger than you know and we can go and see Brittany just relax first okay. Look at me, take a breath and relax.” Ben said trying to do what he always did though Don was hardly helping himself with the situation as he did his best to keep discomfort from his face as he moved slightly.

“How else do you expect me to do this? If I called, it would be callous and you never would have believed me. If I had written to you, you might never have read the letter... I had to see you.” Don said trying to plead his case with her. “I want to be there for you and if that means I walk away because you ask me to, then I will but I will still be there for you. No matter how many times you yell at me, I am still your father.” Don said firmly, no he was her father and yes he might not have been around for her from the age of six but then choices were made and he could hardly change that.

Ben was struggling to untangle himself without falling over and hold onto to Stephanie at the same time. Something had to give and that was his grip on his wife for a moment that gave her a chance to pull away. Ben was still untangling his feet still when he heard the threat that came from Stephanie. This was about ten ways to go wrong he thought as he finally got the lead free and he managed to take a few steps toward the two as he heard Don start speaking. Ben almost wanted to scream at the man to shut up but it was too late for that.

Don never expected any of this, she was right and it hurt to admit it but what could he do. Then came the threat and the one thing he never handled well now were threats of any kind. “You should think about your words carefully.” He snapped back, it was out of character for him but lately. Years of searching, torture of not knowing and medical issues from that day seemed to catch up with him in their entirety.

“I don’t know you Stephie but you’re my daughter and that at least means something to me. If you want to go ahead and hate me for everything in life then go ahead. I never made you join the military, I never made any of this happen because like you said. I was absent from it all but now I am here so you can choose. Do you want to try to know me and for me to know you or do you just want to think I’m dead still and deal with all of this crap when I die? Now your mother would be disappointed in both of us right now but I’ve no idea what chip on your shoulder you have about life. What you expect me to know about it when I’ve only just found you but it’s your choice now. So figure it out and let me know when you’ve gotten over being so mad about everything.” Don snapped as he stood a few steps back from her mostly because he could feel himself getting angry.

Even as he listened to Don speak Ben knew it would only get worse as he did the only think he could think of. Ben punched Don. Square in the mouth as he watched the man fall to the floor, “Stay down.” Ben stated his eyes almost pleading it was for his own safety as he turned to Stephanie. He winced as he moved, still sore from her earlier attempts at getting free. “Happy now? To get to him you go through me Stephanie.” Ben stated as he narrowed his gaze at her, he knew she could get through him but he could at least put up a bit of resistance to her. “But he’s right, you need to figure this out before you kill each other. There’s been enough of that and family is family, no matter what.” Ben stated as he held out his hands to Stephanie though he was slightly hesitant as he was unsure of her reaction.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

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[attr="class","lost1"]Stephanie Taylor

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Stephanie could tell she was making Don angry. Good, he needed to know what it felt like to know what it felt like to have someone turn their back on him. Stephanie was hardly going to let Don walk all over her. Fighting with Ben was hardly aimed at hurting him, and the moment she got free she was staring Don in the face. Stephanie hardly registered Ben’s words in her ear. Stephanie didn’t want to turn around and relax. “No, Benjamin.” She was much calmer with Ben than she was with Don. “I won’t dig up those memories” Her voice was soft but she was getting calmer until Don started in again.

“Callous? Is that really what you are worried about is what people think of you?” There was a sneer in her father’s direction. “My parents live in Georgia.” Stephanie stated towards Don when he dared to call himself her father. “My name is Stephanie. I CHOSE to join the military. I wasn’t forced into anything. I CHOSE to support my son at 17 because that’s what I had to do. You can’t just show up here and expect everything to work out.” Then he dared mention Mary. Stephanie bit back the words she was going to say about the woman and decided instead to say something about Amelia. “My mother has been there for me. My parents are proud of who I’ve become.” It was true, she had a feeling that if Jim had been here though that this conversation would have already been over long ago.

“Chip on my shoulder?” Stephanie glared. “I watched my entire unit die. Under MY command. I’ve shot people to save lives; men, women, and children.” Yes, she’d even shot the guy in the firehouse who had taken her and Ben hostage. “It takes a piece of me. The only chip on my shoulder right now is you sounding like a broken record.” Stephanie was about to lunge when Ben punched Donald and then turned on her.

Stephanie in turn instantly turned on Ben. “You don’t control me Benjamin.” It was bad enough they were at the firehouse and Kelly or the Chief could be on their asses any second now about fighting. When Ben held out his hands, she pushed him away and took off running slamming the door of the firetruck behind her and locking it. Sure, if Ben really wanted in she knew he could get the key. Stephanie just cried harder where no one could see her. Reaching down she ripped her dog tags off of her leg. She scanned over her last name. No, she was a Harris through and through. Taylor was icing on the cake.

[attr="class","lying1"]✎ Donald Anderson

ulla

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[Donald Anderson]

It was always the same argument though Ben appreciated the calmer take for him. Ben might have even relaxed some about the situation when he could hear her voice was soft but Don just had to open his mouth and ruin what he was trying to do. Ben was still learning how to handle Stephanie but so far he was doing a lot better than he had done previously though Don was hardly helping. “You have to work through it Stephanie or they will eat you up. Just talk to someone about it.” He offered knowing that if he was unlikely to be him then she could at least talk to the doc about it and see what Brittany had to say on the matter.

Don glared at Stephanie. “No I wasn’t worried about what people would think of me. Only what you would think of me for doing this to you now.” He tried to snap back though when she brought her ‘parents’ into things Don never thought that hearing your own daughter call someone else her parents would hurt as much as it did. “I chose to show up because I want to know you, I want things to work out so I can get to know my daughter again. My point being that things happen that we have no control over, I want to know you but you’re being so stubborn about it.” Don stated not sure stubborn was right but then what other word was there for it.

“Then let me have a chance to be proud too because I have no idea who you are now. I knew you when you were six, a lot has happened since then. I wanted to be there for you but I couldn’t be so please just let me explain.” Don almost pleaded with her, how could she even thing that he never wanted to be there. If he had been able to her would have taken her back the minute he woke up but it was made impossible by the actions of his sister-in-law. Actions he could never forgive from the woman but there was little he could do about it.

Don understood watching people in a unit die, he had seen it himself. Planes falling out of the sky, being powerless to help as he had to keep flying as if nothing had happened. The screams on a radio and the frantic words, he could more than understand that. Even down to that phrase, payload away followed by the fire and the lives that were taken. Ground or air it made no difference, he might not have seen the faces but he heard the screams, he saw the fire and the destruction and heard the briefings after each flight. “Then at least we have one thing in common today.” Don said as he nodded, “It takes a piece of all of us, you are not the only one.”

Ben had no idea of military service only fire house service though he wished that Don would just shut up. Even when Stephanie turned on him Ben simply nodded at her. “No and I never will, you know that.” He said as he wanted to yell at her for even thinking that he would try to. When she was level headed that was different but right now he was trying to stop her from ripping someone to shreds to there was a certain amount of control required to do that. When he was pushed away and he watched Stephanie run to the truck and lock herself in it he just took a breath.

This was all wrong he thought as he practically pulled Don to his feet and pointed him in the direction of the break room. He watched the man take a seat at the table where they usually ate. Don was trying to relax though the guy that hit him was ordering him around and his head was pounding, this had to be the biggest disaster he had thought about. Much worse than what he had thought as he pulled a bottle of pills from his pocket as the other guy went in search of the keys.

Don was hardly the giving in type but if his head ache got much worse he was only going to get angrier and grumpy which was bad all around. He tried to hurry in throwing something down his neck to make the ache stop though in his haste he managed to spill them over the table and floor. Cursing Don chewed on a few before he started to put back what he had spilled hoping that Stephanie would never see it. No, he was the same guy she knew no different despite the rather obvious differences now. He would never have allowed Mary to see him like this so Stephanie was no different to that as he tried to use as much haste in his clear up.

Ben found the keys quickly muttering about the Chief and the fact he had decided to leave well enough alone so far. Maybe the man was learning to let him deal with things as best he could or he was just staying out of it for the safety of all others.

Ben knocked on the door to the truck. “Coming in.” He stated as he unlocked the door and hauled himself inside before locking the door again and pocketing the key. Ben saw Stephanie holding the dog tags that usually were around her leg as he shook his head. “I know better than to ask but, what would you like to do?” Ben asked her as he reached out a hand to her again, he was unsure if it would be pushed away again but then no one else was there and Don was in the break room for now. Unless the man decided to make a stupid mistake.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

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[attr="class","lost1"]Stephanie Taylor

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Stephanie should have known better than to think that Ben wouldn’t be able to get to her. He knew where the spare set of keys to the truck was. Clearly he had found them. She could hear him saying something about coming up before he actually got into the truck. That sounded about right. At least he’d told her what he was doing, so she didn’t spook. She appreciated the sentiment. It went a long way with her. Setting her dog tags in his hand that he offered she at least looked towards him.

“I don’t have an answer right now.” At least she offered him something though she hated it when he saw her crying and so she tried quickly to dry her tears. Stephanie glanced out of the truck and into the building. “People coming back from the dead… I have enough nightmares without all of this Ben.” Sighing she sat up against the side of the truck. Her eyes bore into Ben’s. She was much calmer than she had been just a little bit ago.

Stephanie moved forward and wrapped her arms around Ben gently. “I can’t do this right now. Not with everything else this family is going through right now.” She was already stressed out with Grace having stumbled into the crime scene and Zach’s mess with the FBI. “He can’t do this to this family, it’s not fair to anyone.” She clenched her fingers and they drug across Ben’s back lightly.

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ulla

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[Donald Anderson]

Don just slumped down into one of the seats at the table as he gathered his pills. The day had gone to hell faster than he had expected it to, mainly because he realised just how much of his little girls life he had missed. How much had happened to her that he had missed already and that made him angry. The more the thought about it the angrier he got because he was supposed to be able to protect her from that. To fix things because he was her father, he was supposed to be there for her.

Instead he had been in coma, unable to find her and through choices of his own only able to find her now. Don wished Mary was there to fix things, she had a way of making everything alright and he saw so much of his wife in his daughters face. All he could do was sit there and wait to see how much damage he had caused without staying dead to her. Maybe that would have been the better option but he could never just give up on her and walk away. Not after losing her once and waking up thinking she was gone when she was alive but too far from his reach.

Ben was learning and sneaking up on Stephanie was a bad idea all around. Telling her what he was doing in advance of time saved a lot of arguing and possible injuries. After all getting hit by her anymore that day when his ribs hurt, he was hardly looking to repeat the earlier issue. Ben felt her dog tags placed in his hand as he pushed them back into hers. “These are yours not mine; besides they look much better on you.” He said trying to joke as he smiled at her.

Listening to her Ben just nodded as he watched her move to sit up against the side of the truck. “It’s not a nightmare, it’s real and pretty cool if you ask me. I wish my brother could do that, my mother no so much and my father... better stay the way things are.” He said though he still felt the sting even if he was trying to joke about his family. That had been complicated enough recently to work out and now Stephanie had her dad back, well to him it was good news even if it was hard to take for her.

Ben wrapped his arms around Stephanie the minute she did to him. “Stephanie you’re the strongest woman I know and I believe you can do this.” Ben said positively. “Let me worry about everything else okay, you just focus on this and you. It’s about time you let me worry about things again.” Ben added knowing she had practically stopped him from going into the house that day. She had kept things together and without Stephanie there. Ben was sure he would have fallen to pieces a lot sooner than he had done.

He could feel her fingers dig across his back as he rubbed her back. “It’s not fair not but it’s good that you have a chance with the guy if you want it. I can’t imagine being kept away from Grace or Zach, not knowing for that long and turning up again.” Ben said as he just held Stephanie to him. “You can do whatever it is you want to do and I’m with you on it Stephanie but nothing needs to be decided today or now. You’re stronger than you believe and it’s about time that you knew that.” Ben said not sure what Stephanie wanted to do but he knew he was behind her with whatever it was she wanted.

Stephanie Taylor,