It's not four simple words

[Erin "Lou" Voight]

Erin Reagan Voight

Finding the truth is like deconstructing a milkshake

⚖ Henry 'Hank' Voight ⚖

Erin wasn’t usually this bad at the range. It was just a place, in fact, she usually saw it as fun. Though she could tell that Hank wasn’t balking and that helped. Erin was able to latch onto him not flinching. If he wasn’t worried then what was there to be worried about? He was the biggest worrier she knew.

Erin didn’t blame him for making her do this; but in her head all she could see was the blame she put on herself for this. Justified killing was still killing. It wasn’t murder, it was self defense but it was still taking a life. You didn’t what you had to do Erin. We crossed that bridge already. Come on you can do this. She was listening to that on repeat for hours.

Erin looked over the gun for a moment before she felt Hank’s hand on her back. At the words ‘just like before’ she felt herself wanting to set the gun back and she started shaking. You’ve had your gun permanent two decades Erin now come on. She was mentally kicking herself. She just stared blankly at the booth. She was having issues moving that direction.

Erin realized the gun in her hand had no clip in it yet. Part of her relaxed and part of her realized she had to load her weapon. She wasn’t even sure she could load it much less pull the trigger. Reaching for ammo she set the gun down and started to put the bullets in the magazine. It’s paper Erin. Her constant reminders had her pretty silent but her eyes kept looking to Hank for small reassurances that she could do this.

Then Hank opened his mouth and challenged her. Challenging Erin was a bad idea usually. The woman would make you put up and shut up. Though she had a feeling that Hank was counting on that, but it never crossed her mind in those regards. Clicking the magazine into place she picked up the gun which was heavier now.

“Fifty and it’s that restaurant across the river.” There was a restaurant Erin loved that was quite on the expensive side so it wasn’t a place that was frequented. It was better than Hank trying to burn the place down while making an attempt at anything that didn’t go on a grill. Erin didn’t push the target to the fifty yard line though at first. Her target wasn’t a person shape, it was just a circle target.

It took a few seconds and Erin had her gun up but she’d not pulled the trigger yet. Come on Erin, you got this. She just had to pull the trigger now…

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[Henry 'Hank' Voight]

The range had never bothered him too much, it was a familiar home of sorts to him given how long he had spent there over the years. It was much like his favourite bar, a home away from home and often a place that he could come to think things over in what he could call relative peace and quiet. It was never going to be easy and he would have worried more if Erin had found it easy to just get back to shooting a paper target.

Hank tried to smile reassuringly when she started to shake, he wished he could do something more for her but then he wasnt sure what that was. It was a lot to take in for a cop let alone a civilian but this was the only way Han knew to work things out. There wasnt a magic stop button or rewind where things could be taken back just a brick wall to get through and to live to fight another day. It was that exact thing he wanted to have Erin do but then getting her to it was tough enough.

“It’s okay, take all the time you need.” He said softly or as softly as he could do watching as she put the bullets in the magazine. “You’ve done it before so I’m sure you can do it again.” It was a paper target and he was sure she had hit a lot of those in her time, yes he was upset that she had to hit a real one but that one was on him. He hadn’t been quick enough or in the right mind at that moment and in such it was Erin who had paid that price. He couldnt change what was done but he could try and help her with it as much as he could.

He knew better than to challenge Erin but this, if it was what it took then he would do it. Even if he had to shoot too it was worth it just to get her back to what she had done before. “Fine, fifty and that restaurant across the river but it’s a safe bet on my side I think.” He said grinning at her, to him it didnt matter how expensive the place was as long as Erin enjoyed it. The lack of grilled food, sure it was a strange idea for a menu but then he was open to trying new places as he watched and waited to see if Erin would do it.

Hank watched her gun though when she didnt pull the trigger on it he placed his hand on her back for a moment. “Make it a hundred and I’ll go running with you for a month.” He offered trying to see if that was enough to get her to do it. He could be try he thought unless he put his hands over hers to do it but he would try and let her work it on her own he thought.

Tag: Erin "Lou" Voight

[Erin "Lou" Voight]

Erin Reagan Voight

Finding the truth is like deconstructing a milkshake

⚖ Henry 'Hank' Voight ⚖

She was holding her gun in place over the trigger, her whole body still shaking as they discussed on what to hit where. The first pull of the trigger and she closed her eyes. She knew she wasn’t supposed to but she wasn’t sure that she was going to do it otherwise. Even then she put the gun down before she pulled the trigger all the way. The bullet never released. The gun felt heavy and she set it on the table in front of her.

Erin felt Hank’s hand on her back. “You run with me anyway” she pointed out. She’d never exactly gone running by herself without hearing it from him. Though it did happen occasionally. Erin reached for the gun again. She knew he was just trying to do. Once more her hand gripped the gun and this time she aimed with her eyes open. Just pull it she was trying to reason with herself as she lined herself up properly and pulled the trigger all the way. The first shot was the hardest but then she emptied her clip into the round paper target. Her accuracy unchanged from her usual. Erin could shoot with the best of them.

Erin set the empty gun down on the table and wheeled around facing Hank before burying her head. Her whole body was still shaking but she’d gotten past the whole pulling the trigger part. But she rolled her hands over to look at them. Now she just had to process that pulling the trigger didn’t equate to someone dying.

She was only going to go as far as he pushed her today. It was one of the things she appreciated about their relationship, he pushed her when things got hard. He kept her going, even if it meant he was a little rough about it. She wasn’t mad at him but things right now were just a little bit raw.

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[Henry 'Hank' Voight]

When Erin closed her eyes to fire the weapon Hank winced slightly, rule one never close your eyes because you cant see what you’re shooting at. It was as good as blind folding someone and telling them the general direction but at least she had taken a shot which he thought counted for a lot all things considered. Hank watched her place the gun down on the table in front of her, well one shot was more than he thought might happen so small steps as he tried to encourage her the only way he knew how to.

“Yeah I do but you know I run faster and will beat your time for the next month hands down.” He teased knowing full well he was the one lagging behind in any run, it wasnt his favourite thing to do but then the company was good and he could make sure that Erin was safe. He smiled when she reached for the gun again, watching her eyes open as she pulled the trigger and emptied the clip into the paper target. He noted the accuracy of her shots hadn’t changed in the slightest as he smiled and nodded silently, it had always been impressive to say the least but more so given the past twenty four hours.

Hank placed his arms around her when she buried her head; he could feel her shaking and wished he could do anything to make it any better for her. “Great job, nice to see that you’ve not lost the accuracy but a guy could hope.” He said nudging her lightly, “Can’t have a lawyer out shooting me on a range, any idea what that would do to my stellar reputation?” Well stellar wasnt exactly true but then again in his head everything he had done and would do was deserved.

“So how about you have another go, see if it was just a fluke?” He asked her as he motioned toward one of the other targets lined up before motioning one of the staff there for another clip. There were a few choices of silhouettes stood pointing guns, the plain old person shaped one with the ring target in the middle. He knew he was pushing her but then again it was for her own good. He just hoped that she could see it at some point, maybe not right away but at least she might understand at some point. He knew he could be a pain in the butt, it was his nature but it was what needed to be done he thought.

Tag: Erin "Lou" Voight

[Erin "Lou" Voight]

Erin Reagan Voight

Finding the truth is like deconstructing a milkshake

⚖ Henry 'Hank' Voight ⚖

When Hank tried to get her to go farther and shoot towards a person, she shook her head no. She didn’t even want to pick up the gun. Now she was gonna fight back. In her mind, she’d had enough. Her head motion said as much as she held onto him instead.

Erin chuckled a bit when he said he couldn’t be out shot by a lawyer. “Cop’s wife” she corrected him with a smirk on her face. Well technically she had learned to shoot before she had ever become a lawyer. Second and lastly, she had honed in on the skill more with her cop family members around. She’d seen how important it was to protect herself and all that jazz. No one told her that the flip side of this would stink so badly.

“I’m good.” She mentioned seeing the targets again. She took steps away from the range. How much could she resist? Well maybe she could just stall for time until she could manage to go to court. There was always that option. Sighing she shook her head no again towards him and kept her distance from the range.

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[Henry 'Hank' Voight]

Hank watched her shake her head, he expected the no and maybe he was pushing too much but in his mind it needed to be done. Hank kept his arm around her trying to make her feel better, it was his fault this happened. His fault that he hadn’t been quick enough though he blamed Thomas for asking that question that floored him at the time. Yes he was blaming the fed though only in his own head.

“Lawyer and cops wife, no way I can be outshot by either.” He said grinning seeing the smirk on her face. There wasnt a doubt in his mind that Frank would have taught Erin to shoot and well at that, she was a good shot and knew hot to handle a weapon too which was a good thing. A family of cops it was doubtful that anyone wouldnt know how to shoot to protect themselves though Erin made it look easy and she was good at it. He only wished she didnt have to know what it was like to take a life with it.

Hank nodded to her when she stepped away from the range. “Fine, they we’ll come back after court, tomorrow too until you make the shot.” He stated knowing he was pushing her but then it was better to get it over and done with now than have it as a much bigger issue in a weeks time. “Erin, I get it I do but please just do this for me?” He asked her knowing he had no right to given what she had already done for him but even if he had to pay for it for the rest of his life he was willing to do it.

“Don’t make me break out the handcuffs on the range Lou.” He said patting his hip lightly, sure he wasnt about to arrest her for it but then he was trying to make light of things to try and help her in whatever way he could. After all threatening to handcuff her before worked with Jamie so why not now?

Tag: Erin "Lou" Voight

[Erin "Lou" Voight]

Erin Reagan Voight

Finding the truth is like deconstructing a milkshake

⚖ Henry 'Hank' Voight ⚖

Hank’s arm around her counted for a lot. Though her stare down the range was blank. Erin didn’t want to pick up the weapon again, she didn’t. Fear was hitting harder the closer the target resembled a person. Hearing herself in her head was like an argument gone South. Telling her to do it and not to do it. There was lots of crazy reasons going on in her head. Why was there no finding a hole and falling into it?

Erin loved to go to the range. Danny and her would make a competition out of it. You can easily out shoot someone who can’t pull the trigger. Well she could pull the trigger but that wasn’t the point. Lucky for her the sentiment never left her mouth. Though the moment Hank said he was going to make her keep coming back she knew there was no way out. But she wasn’t really ready to make that shot.

I can’t her mind had already defeated itself. I’m not ready. Looking down the range she turned away only when Hank asked her to make the shot for him. Oh she hated when he played that card. Why was this so important to him? Erin almost wanted to ask but decided that keeping her mouth shut was better. She just closed her eyes a moment. Her hands were still shaking. “I see the face there in my head.” She decided to finally explain why she was turning away from the target. Maybe it would make more sense?

“Since when have you ever needed a reason to put me in handcuffs?” She teased back. It had worked before when she was able to laugh and joke around. “I need to get ready for court.” Erin needed to calm down and to focus on something other than guns killing people. However, with her current case being a murder case… she wasn’t sure how that was going to weigh into her head for the day.

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[Henry 'Hank' Voight]

It was all different when you loved the person you were pushing, it wasnt a rookie cop who had just had to make that shot where he could he as harsh and rude as humanly possible. This was Erin, his wife, the woman he loved who had made that shot and pushing her too far well he didnt want to ruin anything because she thought he was taking it too far. The range was paper, it was target practice but people were always going to be different as he tried to think back to what helped him.

Hank sighed lightly when she turned away from him when he asked her to make the shot for him. He knew she had to do it but then was today the right day for that? He wished there was something more he could do, something to make it easier but then taking a life shouldn’t ever be an easy thing and that was the fight right there. Take away the guilt from it and what was left? Hank could see her hands shaking as he tried to smile positively.

“It’s normal Erin. It took me a few weeks and I still see the faces and know the names. It’s okay.” He explained. “But you can’t let that take over your life Erin. You can’t let that stop you if you have to take that shot again.” She had already been shot twice, Nicky once and well not counting himself he knew he would do everything to protect them both but there might be that time when he couldnt. He took a breath and simply hugged her too him for a moment before he kissed her forehead. “We can come back tomorrow and the day after that, it doesn’t have to be today.” He said though he wasnt sure how long he could let her not make that shot.

“Since you mentioned it, no I don’t need a reason.” He replied grinning as he pulled the set of handcuffs from his belt. “They turned out to be quite handy for home as well as work... kind of like a multi purpose thing.” With that he went to hand cuff her wrist as he rolled his eyes about court. “See that’s the issue with lawyers... it’s all ‘need to get ready for court’.” He teased with a sigh as he nudged her lightly. “But watching you work makes it bearable and I’m coming with you so you can’t argue that though can you work with cuffs on?” He asked her trying his best to lighten things again, yes it might not exactly be his best material in the world but then he wasnt exactly known for his jokes.

Tag: Erin "Lou" Voight

[Erin "Lou" Voight]

Erin Reagan Voight

Finding the truth is like deconstructing a milkshake

⚖ Henry 'Hank' Voight ⚖

Erin had a limit but she didn’t fault Hank for doing what he felt was right. Hank had her best interest at heart. She knew that he would only push her for the better. She bit at her lip and started to listen as he started talking. If only he knew how right he was about the guilt plaguing her. Though she also knew he was right, she had to be able to protect them if it came down to it again.

“I just need some time.” She added as she leaned her forehead into his lips and melted into his hug. Erin felt safe right there and it helped her to calm down. How did she explain that the images were plaguing her feeling of what was safe. No, as long as Hank was around she was safe. But he wasn’t always around. He had work, she couldn’t hang around the station 24/7 just to feel like she could live her life.

“Tomorrow.” She was agreeing that coming back was okay with her but right now just pulling the trigger had been pushing it. Before she realized what was happening she was in handcuffs and had her back to Hank. She tried to lean back but he nudged her as he was teasing her. “I’d dare you to walk me into court in handcuffs, but the judge might throw you and I both out for contempt.” Oh if she dared him to do it, he would do it. There was no question about that.

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[Henry 'Hank' Voight]

Hank nodded to her when she mentioned needing some more time. Time worked for the better or for the worse though sure if they were back tomorrow he could at least push her some more toward getting her to pull the trigger. It wasnt easy and yes he hated to do it but then the thought of her not being able to protect herself or Nicky if he wasnt around. No he couldnt even think about that or he would take up stalking her as his full time project just to make sure they were safe.

“Time I can do.” He said not wanting her to feel like he was being completely unreasonable about things. It wasnt that he wanted to push her but if he didnt, he knew what happened. It had happened to every cop that didnt get back on the horse, they hesitated and were a liability to others around them. Not that Erin had that to worry about but she was a target and she needed to be able to do the exact same thing again if it was needed.

Hank smiled when Erin agreed to come back tomorrow, well at least he wasnt going to have to drag her there. That was a plus point. When he had cuffed her he chuckled hearing her dare, honestly if she thought he wouldn’t do that she was mistaken. “Oh dare accepted and yeah I can take contempt for getting to walk you in in handcuffs. Small price to pay.” Hank stated grinning at her, “Might even swap the work ones out for the pink fluffy ones on the way in... you know just for a talking point around the office.” He teased.

Tag: Erin "Lou" Voight

[Erin "Lou" Voight]

Erin Reagan Voight

Finding the truth is like deconstructing a milkshake

⚖ Henry 'Hank' Voight ⚖

When they got to court, Erin seemed focused and more robotic than she was emotional. It was her job and this court case had really started to get under her skin. “Well if it isn’t Erin Reagan herself.” Oh that voice she wanted to cringe. Nothing like having to deal with her ex in court. Erin set all her folders down on the table and started ruffling through things. “Aren’t even going to say good morning?” Jack kept trying to get her attention.

The judge calling the court to order couldn’t come at a better time, making Jack shut up was much appreciated. Sighing, Erin waited until she was called on to even remotely think about opening her mouth. “Motion to suppress the expert witness, Your Honor.” Erin was playing dirty and she knew it.

“You are just doing this because it’s personal Erin.” Jack was blabbering.

“You have a cop testifying as a ballistics expert.” Erin started to argue. She’d seen that Hank was supposed to testify; she had to wonder what Jack was thinking. “You can’t have a detective testify in place of someone because you forgot to do your homework!”

“He’s a decorated cop that’s been around Chicago a while.”

“Experienced cops don’t necessarily have the skill set to testify on ballistics reports.”

“I’m afraid the States Attorney is correct Mr. Boyle. The witness testimony is out. Find another expert.”

“Your Honor…”

“I’ve made my decision. Are you questioning that decision Mr. Boyle.” Erin wanted to say something about the guy putting himself on thin ice. However, she knew better. “If the defense as no counter evidence to produce.”

“Can I have 24 hours your honor?”

“Twenty-Four Hours Mr. Boyle. If you don’t have a witness by tomorrow morning. I am not holding the jury any longer than need be. Court dismissed for the day.”

That had been a little easier than she thought it would be. Though she had a feeling outside the court room was going to be a train wreck.

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[Henry 'Hank' Voight]

Hank kept a close eye on Erin in court, not that he didnt think she couldnt handle herself or anyone else for that matter but she had been through a lot. Sure he didnt exactly agree with her going into work right now but then again everyone dealt with things differently and if this was Erin’s way then that was alright with him. Well it was alright with him until he saw Jack there and then suddenly it wasnt alright at all. He could hear her ex asking questions trying to get Erin’s attention as he sat himself in one of the rows.

Yeah he had been called as a witness but he knew better than to discuss that outside of the court. Still when the judge called the court to order he sat there silently as he waited to hear what Erin would say. The words ‘motion to suppress’ couldnt have meant more to him in that moment as he watched the to and fro between Jack and Erin. It was a little like watching tennis but this was a little better though Erin had a point.

Sure he would testify and yes he wasnt above calling himself an expert for the case but testifying he wasnt too into. Generally because once he was under oath it didnt do many people any good for him to start telling the truth about anything. Hank was happy enough just to sit there and let the lawyers battle it out until he felt like he wanted to add his two pence worth. ‘Experienced’ was that code for old he wondered and yes heh ad the necessary skills to testify on bullets.

Then again he didnt want to stand up in court and start arguing for the opposing side today when Erin had been through so much. Safer to stand down and try to not act as ‘experienced’ because that to him was practically, yeah what does the old guy know about bullets. Lucky he knows how to use a phone, which at times was still a little iffy given that he only found he could get maps on it a few weeks ago. He wasnt exactly the up to date kind, no a phone was for calling or a text and beyond that he didnt need it for much else.

Hank heard that the court was dismissed for the day as he sighed, glad to be getting out of there as courts didnt exactly make him feel at home as he stood off to the side before he walked towards Erin. With Jack there, yeah it was going to be an interesting day in court to say the least. "So experienced huh?" He said smiling for a moment.

Tag: Erin "Lou" Voight