Tender Bullets

[Dr Sofia Austin]

A general statement that he would lie to her? What was this, Planet Z? Sofia realised as soon as he mentioned work what he meant though it did nothing to stop her from feeling foolish for ever thinking he would lie without cause or reason. It made a lot more sense now than five seconds ago but she had still gone off on him about it. “You promise me that? Promise you won’t ever lie to me because I have had enough lies in my life and I don’t want to add to that.” Sofia said through her tears as she knew better than to ask him about work related things. He likely could say as much as she could when it came to patient confidentiality.

Sofia had seen Martin angry, she had seen it before and that scared her somewhat until she learned that he never meant it or would hurt her. Even now she was used to the reaction of being hit or whatever else came with it for speaking out or disagreeing. She knew however that he was a calm person and he had no idea how much she loved him for that one thing alone. Sofia hardly knew what she was saying anymore, her father could have hurt him and she was to blame for that as much as her father was in her mind.

It was destruction by association and pulling away seemed to be the logical thing to do. When she felt his arm around her and his hand rubbing circles on her back she could only sob more. How could he be like this with her? After everything that had happened how could he possibly be kind to her? It felt as if her mind was broken into pieces, it made no sense that after shooting her father he could sit on the floor with her and try to talk to her. Was she mad that he was being so nice, no but it made no sense when she was waiting for the yelling to start which was her sort of normal.

It made her feel nervous as to the delayed reaction of it all; surely he would yell soon she thought silently. If he chose not to then Sofia was in uncharted territory and that was a whole other world of issues right then. She dealt with crazy for a living, high stress she could cope but this sort of stress. Stress that no textbook had ideas for; this was the thing that had her fumbling her steps and having no idea how to fix things for the better.

What did she want? A question that she had never really been asked before and it surprised her as she listened to him intent on trying to answer through her sobbing. Even when his hand came up under her chin she winced waiting for the usual though when he only looked into her eyes all she could do was stare right back in complete surprise. He was actually serious in asking that question. Sofia blinked at him, looking into his eyes it was easy to get lost in them. Her crying became silent despite the tears running down her cheeks when she kept looking into his eyes even when he unhooked his finger from her chin.

“I want you Martin and I love you.” She stated simply, it was true in its simplicity though the rest of the madness that went with it made the simplicity chaos. “I want you but I want you to be safe, to not have to deal with any of my... to not have to deal with my dad. He’s my issue not yours and the fact he could have hurt you because of me. That’s not okay with me.” Sofia said not taking her eyes away from him for a second. “How can you be so nice about this? So... so you about all of it. I’m not used to nice or...” She could hardly bring herself to finish that though she had no doubt that Martin knew what she meant. “What have I done to deserve you?” She asked in more of a rhetorical question.

Sheldon Martin,

[Sheldon Martin]

With all due respect

Aren't you going to reciprocate?

Do I always have to talk sense into people?

TAGS || Dr Sofia Austin

[attr="class","nthlftsybdytxt1"]Martin knew she didn’t take being lied to well at all. “No lies Sofia. I promise.” His thumb traced over her lips as he spoke though his other arm was wrapped around her as the two sat on the floor. He was getting too old to be plopping down on the floor like a kid. He had no idea what to really say other than to make a promise he knew he could keep. Sometimes though, keeping things simple was the way to go.

With Martin there was no screaming and yelling, it served no purpose. Martin rested his lips on the side of her temple. He wanted her to relax. When she winced his heart fell, he’d never hurt her. He also, however, understood that it was a reaction upon instinct. Soon he noticed their eye lingering in his own. He knew she was upset. It didn’t take rocket science to figure it out.

Martin couldn’t help but smile towards her a little bit hearing her words. “I love you too Sofia.” That wasn’t going to change. Though she started going on about her dad. “Look at me, please. Listen to everything I have to say.” He held her close. “I’m not going to let you push me away for any number of reasons. First and foremost, your safety is important too. Secondly, this can all be handled. The right way. Lastly, He only has as much power as you let him have. The more you give up and feed into him; the more hold he has. None of this is your fault and you know it as well as I do.” He pulled her closer.

“I love you Sofia. That’s how.” He knew sitting here trying to explain to her being nice was going to be a completely foreign concept. Martin was going to explain more when she started talking rhetorical questions. He simply smiled. “I ask myself the same question about you.” He finished sliding down to the floor and leaned against the door holding his arms out for her. Really Martin wished that he could just all make this go away.

NOTES: NOTES HERE

BOBBI

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[Dr Sofia Austin]

Sofia wanted badly to believe him, lies had been a part of her life for so long now it was strange not to think of double meanings. To try and work out what was between the words and for the time she had known Martin, she knew him to be the most honest person she knew. Sofia just needed to hear him say it as leaned into his arm that was wrapped around her. Simple as it was it was something she needed to hear and with everything that had happened that evening. Simple was looking like the very best option.

Upset and angry, she was angry at a lot of things, angry at herself too for even letting this mess happen in the first place. If she had just locked herself away, never dared look at another person and then Martin never would have shot her father. There would be no sitting on the floor, a complete mess wishing he had aimed to kill the guy and then feeling awful about even thinking that. The wince was learned, even though she could feel his lips on the side of her temple she was still awaiting the pain that came after any touch of emotion.

It never came which she was relieved of but seeing him smile, Sofia felt herself finally starting to relax under his touch some. Even his ‘I love you’ she wondered how he could possible say it given what had happened. How could he love someone like her at all? Sofia gazed up at Martin when he held her close, her ears listening to every word though his words did little to stop the tears in her eyes. If anything it made them worse as she tightened her grip on his shirt as she shook. She hated it when he made sense and especially when he was right.

“It isn’t as important as yours and second I would love to believe it can but you seem to have more faith than me for it to be handled. The right way.” Sofia said sighing, there was a right way and then there was her way. She could go to the hospital and put a pillow over the guys face and just end things there and then. It was an idea sure, a bad one but the idea was in her head along with a few other options. She was a doctor and knew a scary amount of ways for people to find trouble even in a hospital.

Sofia listened to Martin as she smiled weakly at him when he finished. She was a lucky woman to have him even look at her once she thought as she saw him sliding down to the floor and lean against the door. With his arms held out for her Sofia curled up next to him before leaning up and kissing his cheek for a moment. Once she was done she rested her head on his chest so she could hear his heart beat that relaxed her more. With one hand she drew lazy circles on his chest as her other arm wrapped around him before her hand poked at his side lightly.

“You’re too old to be sitting on the floor like this.” Sofia stated in a teasing tone as she would never hold his age against him at all. “If you need a hot water bottle and a blanket just let me know.” She teased some more smiling up at him. She simply wanted a distraction as she smiled still hearing the thud of his heartbeat in her ear.

Sheldon Martin,

[Sheldon Martin]

With all due respect

Aren't you going to reciprocate?

Do I always have to talk sense into people?

TAGS || Dr Sofia Austin

[attr="class","nthlftsybdytxt1"]Martin wished he could do more for her than just hold her. All he could do was rub her back and do just that, hold her. There was small smile on his face, if only to get her to mimic it. His hand ran through her hair gently, still in the same motion as he had before. His lips still pressed against her forehead, as if he could shield her from everything. Though he knew that was far from the truth. Martin was too much of a realist for that.

Moving his finger rubbing over the side of her temple. “I love you.” He whispered gently. Martin wasn’t trying to avoid the conversation with her, he was simply trying to make her feel more comfortable. There was no ulterior motive, he just wanted Sofia to be safe, and to be happy. Though there was no happy for the moment. He knew what would be a long stretch. If she was happy that her dad had just tried to break in and had been shot… well then he would be a fool.

Sure he was probably going around in circles, but if it made her feel at ease then so be it. “It is just as important. Don’t argue with please.” He placed his thumb in circles over her lips and his voice still calm. “That’s why you let me handle getting things done.” He did all he could to make her feel safe. No, it never seemed to be enough and he was beating himself up inside.

Hearing her voice going to something even if it was about his age. He chuckled. “Mhmm well seeing as my girlfriend is the one who sat here first.” Martin poked her in the side lightly in return. Though he held her close as she started to settle against his heart beat. This was all he wanted for her, to feel relaxed. “You know she decided that my floor was more comfortable than my bed, so I thought i’d give it a try”

NOTES: NOTES HERE

BOBBI

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[Dr Sofia Austin]

Rubbing her back was doing more for her than anything else could at that point. Sofia found it hard not to smile back at him as weak as it was when she saw his small smile. She could have stayed like that forever with him as she regretted letting him go to answer the door. Yes it was his house, his home but Sofia should have known better. She should have forced him to ignore it and stay with her on the sofa because that would have been the safer option. Pretend like no one was home and just stay wrapped up in his arms forever.

“How you can love me right now I’ve no idea.” Sofia mumbled into his chest, she had been the cause of him shooting someone. Her father yes but then her mind was still torn between wishing Martin had aimed at a different area and being thankful that her father was still alive. “I love you too.” She said fighting the thought to add ‘even though you shot my dad’ on the end of that sentence though she wanted to just so he knew. “I’m not upset with you or mad at you Martin, I love you for what you did. I just wish you never had to make that choice.” She explained not sure it explained everything but then admitting to wanting to kill someone, she hardly wanted to be place in a physic hold for three days.

Sofia was about to argue with him when she felt his thumb run circles over her lips. She kissed his thumb for a moment while shaking her head. “Fine I won’t argue with you but I will let you handle this once. Only once then I go back to handling things too and handlings things for you too.” Sofia stated not wanting him to be beating himself up inside at all. “I’m not arguing just stating a point that to me you’re far more important.” She said smiling as she buried her face in his shoulder for a moment.

She squirmed under his poking as she chuckled hearing the sound that was almost foreign to her for that evening. “Oh that’s right blame the girlfriend for you sitting on the floor.” She teased smiling, “Not like you had a choice of a chair, a bed, a cabinet...” So yes her sudden outburst was to blame for him being on the floor but teasing him about it was a welcome distraction to thinking about anything else that was going on outside of the room they were in. Settling against his heartbeat Sofia listened happily to it, to her it was like a relaxing song to hear it.

“Well I can tell you your girlfriend is an idiot.” Sofia stated, “The bed if much comfier than the floor but since you’re on the floor then I think your girlfriend has sense to be there too because you’re comfier than a pillow ever could be.” She teased smiling as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. “Now are you alright? And I don’t mean on the floor and I won’t believe an I’m fine either for the floor or anything else.” Sofia said as she took a breath still listening to his heartbeat. “So talk or I will keep poking you.” Sofia offered as she poked him lightly in the side again just to prove she would though soon after she kept her arms around him.

Sheldon Martin,