Underwater Ninja Training

[Malachi Ben-Gidon]

Malachi felt like he spent a lot of time trying to read between lines that were of his own making. He knew he made issues where there weren’t any at times but then trying to figure women out. Nope it was a life question bigger than anything he had ever dealt with. If he said something he got the wrong end of things and sarcasm, he was trying to learn too. Mostly because he wasnt used to it, Lizzie was like a whole new world and a world with a few language or feeling barriers at the same time.

“I am just making sure. I know you don’t I just want to make sure you are sure.” He said trying to explain though her tugging her arms away, yeah that was exactly his point. He tried to do something and now he was questioning her. Sure he was as he was just trying to be a good husband, asking questions and never taking an I’m fine at face value. Malachi trusted Lizzie with his life, he just wasnt very good at showing it. He figured it was their thing to know that though he hadn’t quiet cottoned onto the fact that if he didnt say it then she couldnt possibly know it.

Watching her hit the punch bag Malachi just nodded when she said she didnt want to talk. He expected silence from her as she punched the bag though when her fists dropped and she started to talk. See that was the exact thing, she said no she wasnt talking and now she was? How did this make sense to a guy that said yes I will kill him he wasnt about to turn around and go only joking. Better luck next week. “Because usually I did without knowing it, like now. I ask a question and it’s my fault for questioning everything.” He said though it was a pretty lame example.

“Hypocrite, are you really thinking that of me?” Malachi said surprised and almost offended as he felt that he talked a lot more than he used to. Two words out of him was a conversation and sure some things he didnt talk about because he didnt want to or he didnt want her to know. Opening up required trust which he had entirely for her though he wasnt exactly sure what to say to her as he thought he had talked a lot already. Malachi watched her twist the ring she had as he caught the water she tossed to him.

He couldnt help but jump to the divorce conclusion for a moment though no, it wasnt that bad right now was it? Malachi opened the bottle and took a sip as he walked to the far wall and leaned against it. He stared directly at Lizzie as wanted to open up to her he just wasn’t sure he was even capable of that now. “I am not a hypocrite and you know it. I tell you things that no one else knows; I have no idea what you want me to day Lizzie? What is it you want to know?” Malachi asked her trying to understand what she wanted him to tell her.

“I love you, I trust you more than anyone else in the world but I have no idea what you are asking me to do here. You’re upset with me but I have no idea why that is so what do I need to say?” He admitted, Malachi had never been that telling someone everything because he hadn’t ever had that before. His first wife, yeah that wasnt even an option as everything was his fault so that was what he was used to. If it went wrong it was him so by default, now anything was his fault because he had screwed it up somehow. Talking he just didnt do much of that, it was a quirk or just learned behaviour simply because his father didnt do talking, his first wife. Talking turned to yelling and usually it ended up with some awful story being put around by her of how awful he was. Mossad, talking got people killed so his experience of talking wasnt exactly fond.

Tag: Elizabeth Gidon

[Elizabeth Gidon]

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I'm Not the Only One

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╳ Malachi Ben-Gidon ╳

[attr="class","rbtxtbr2"]Lizzie just gave him a look when he used his example for an example. She went back to punching until he replied about the entire being a hypocrite thing. The pressure on her hand and the bag was the same pressure she felt in her throat as she tried to swallow the huge lump now growing. “What else do you call bottling things up then turning around and asking me to talk about my feelings?” She sighed, it was something they both needed to work on.

“That was not intended to… Ani Mitzta'eret” (I’m sorry) Liz always spoke in Hebrew with Malachi, unless she started rambling in Italian for some strange reason. English was rare in the household and only used when Liz struggled with what she was trying to say in Hebrew. “It isn’t about something you need to say Malachi. Bevakasha, just forget it Ahavat.” (Please) Lizzie wanting to talk about things hardly lead to yelling, but he would have to figure that out for himself.

“It’s just been a not so great morning.” She admitted. “It is my mistake for taking it out on you.” Lizzie decided it was better to just squash all the arguing before it could start. She’d woke up feeling like crap, he’d dragged her out of bed by dumping water on her. Then she’d called him a hypocrite. Yes, they were off to a great start. No, this day was just done before it started. It wasn’t like she could talk about her current assignment, which was really the case for a lot of the frustration built up inside. Just like he couldn’t talk about work.

“Neshomelet, somethings cannot be spoken. But I am wrong to project my anger towards you.” (Sweetheart -masc.) There was admitting it and then there was avoiding things. Lizzie moved away from the punching bag and reached for her water. Now the top of the lid became her object of choice to fidget with. It did not matter her mood, Elizabeth always fidgetted.

ⒶⓀⒾ of Adoxography, Transit, and GS.

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[Malachi Ben-Gidon]

Malachi was trying to argue his way out of the completely unarguable point. Lizzie was right, she was about these things but he had to at least try to let her see why he was the way he was. It might not all be down to choice just the simple sense of what he knew how to do. Talking wasnt something he knew too well and since they were only recently married he was sure there was a lot of work involved in trying to let her in. “I call it keeping the bad details away from my wife. My feelings aren’t important because I try not to have them. Your feelings are important to me because then I know if you are okay or not. If you don’t tell me I might not know.” Malachi said trying to explain the best way he knew how.

Yes Malachi had feelings he just chose to squash them away because feelings weren’t part of his job. His feelings for Lizzie scared him at times and asking her to talk to him about her own made sense. The simple fact was that he wasnt exactly great with human nature or sarcasm, that meant that unless it was brick formed sometimes he wasnt able to quiet grasp what was going on when it came to feelings. Simply because he chose not to want to let that side of himself do anything.

“ze tov meod do not be sorry. You are being truthful and that’s all I can ask for.” (Oh, that’s good.) Malachi said glad that if she was telling him things at least she was being honest no matter how much it might hurt to hear. Malachi shook his head when she asked him to forget it. “Lo, Lo hevanti. What is it that I am missing with this? If you want me to talk I can do I it’s just... I don’t know how to do that.” (I don’t understand) He admitted though trying to talk was one thing, actually managing to do it was another.

Malachi winced, no he had added to that not so great morning given his insistence that she train when she obviously wasnt well. “It’s never a mistake, if there’s anything you need to take out on me then you can do that. I am here for you Lizzie I just want to understand what is going on with you.” Malachi asked trying to do this whole honest feelings talking thing that he was a hypocrite about. “Motek, anything can be spoken and if you’re angry then tell me what I can do to help. Talk to me because you know it stays between us.” Malachi asked as he took a few steps toward her as he watched her play with the lid of her water.

“Please Lizzie, what can I do?” He asked as he decided that maybe bargaining was the way to go. “If you share what is bothering you then I will share something with you too.” He offered not entirely sure what that would be but he would make sure it was worth her while if she spoke to him.

Tag: Elizabeth Gidon