In The Middle Of The Night - Tagged

[Benjamin Taylor]

It was late and for an adult it was way past his bedtime which led to his usual state of grouchiness. It was far from good for anyone but between his lack of sleep, the fact he was out of his mind with worry and trying to reconcile the fact that his wife had just walked off a roof. The night was turning into one he wanted to do be done with fast. The ride over there and now in the emergency room, it was the last place he thought he would be and with the last person he wanted to be in a hospital with.

It sounded worse than he thought but Stephanie was hurt and in his head that was like an apocalypse to him. The world was ending and no one else understood, better yet for time brief time they had actually talked about the incident, Stephanie had no recollection of actually walking right off the room. No he had been asleep when it happened so his version of events started when he saw her lying in the shrubs outside of the fire house. It was Chloe who had filled him in on the roof part and Ben had no reason not to believe it.

He was more than aware of what Stephanie was dealing with but walking of a roof was far more than he was used to. The more he thought over the incident as he stood beside Stephanie’s bed the more he had no idea what to do about any of it. Did he have her committed and hope for the best? No that was likely to get him killed, lose her job and make life seem well ruined. If he ignored it then when would it happen again and would it be just a broken ankle they were dealing with or something much much worse?

Therapist? Nope getting Stephanie to talk to him was a battle some days unless he was the one to talk to the fire house shrink, just what he wanted to do but if it helped her then he would talk to a tree. Ben had tried to refrain from saying much of anything even though he wanted to scream. There were thoughts about how crazy it was, what was going on? What had set her off? How he would make sure she got help? With all of that all he could hear was the argument going off inside his head as he closed his eyes for a brief moment.

He was tired, worried, scared and terrified of losing the person he loved. All on top of trying to understand something he was just getting to grips with as best he could and his wife walks off the fire house roof. No, he would stay awake and only sleep when he knew someone was around to look after Steph, that was his new plan of action. It had to be done so there would be a watch taken over for her to make sure that she was safe no matter what. He took another breath as he stood next to her bed waiting to hear what would be said or if anything would be said.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

Stephanie had been on some pain killers that had knocked her out for a little bit but it was only a few hours. Her ankle was in fact broken. Broken bones were the least of her worries since Ben had been there. She was sure that there was bound to be a fight over her being in the hospital again. True she wasn’t admitted but that wasn’t the point. She woke up on Ben’s shoulder looking up towards him.

“What time is it?” She fumbled out rubbing her eyes. Her ankle was killing her. Right now they were just waiting on her CT scan of her head to come back. Stephanie had told them how many times before she had drifted off to sleep that she’d not hit her head. Though that had been a fight and a half. Stephanie had finally not really been given a choice.

Stephanie didn’t really remember the roof. It wasn’t that she denied it happening, it was more of she hadn’t been inside of her own head at the time. Her mind had been on things that she simply didn’t talk about. Sighing she wrapped her arms Ben’s neck but hardly moved from where she was on his shoulder.

“Talk to me?” She knew the look on his face as she buried in his neck. Stephanie was exhausted despite the little nap she had caught. She rubbed her eyes. It was rare she was this tired in the middle of the night. Usually she was wide awake and wandering around in the middle of the night. Though with her sleepwalking there was no telling where, in this case apparently it had been the roof.

The doctor came in and threw her charts on the counter. “Mrs. Taylor, you are lucky that you didn’t give yourself a concussion.” He pointed out. He looked towards Ben. “Her CT scan is clean. I can get her discharge paperwork started.” He responded. “She is to stay off that ankle until it heals. six to eight weeks.” He added as he picked up the file and showed the two the images he had in his files.

If it was one thing that Stephanie hated it was being spoken to like she wasn't in the room. "I'm sitting RIGHT here." She hissed towards the doctor who took a few steps back.

SQUAD 3

HOUSE 51

Benjamin Taylor

callmekitty at adoxography

[Benjamin Taylor]

As every story started, it was a normal day. The sun rose just like any other and set the same way with a scattering of the usual shift calls in between. Cat stuck in a tree, bin fire, traffic incident. The same old same old until he had woken up and his wife was hurt not though any fire or work related injury though he would have been in the same state of worry no matter what it was. This time it was different, no fire or equipment failure, no rope breaking or yelling match about who got to do their job.

Just Stephanie and she was hurt. Ben glanced at his wrist where his watch usually sat as he heard her fumble. “Urm...” He said as he pulled out his phone realising he had left his watch on the bunk he had been in when all the chaos had stared. “Just after four.” He stated, he was used to her moving at night at home and that he was getting used to but in the fire house. He had never known this before as he tried to refrain from stating his case there and then when she had just come around again.

Ben smiled feeling her arms around his neck as he held her to him. She was awake and alive, two things he appreciated every single day no matter what was going on. Her words took him by surprise for a moment, she wanted him to talk when right now he wanted to yell and talk at the same time. It was strange seeing her tired at that time in the morning though he pushed that from his mind. Ben kissed the top of her head for a moment before he did his best to smile. “How do you feel?” He asked her deciding to start small first, “Glad you’re back with the land of the living though.” He added as truthfully he was.

When the doctor arrived Ben glanced up as he pointed out the obvious though he bit his lip when he was about to argue a broken ankle was bad enough as it was. Ben glanced at the files the doctor had as he nodded, oh if he had anything to do with anything Stephanie would be off her feet entirely for as long as it took for her to get better. “Thank God.” He said letting out a breath he had no idea he was holding when he heard the CT scan was clean. “Stephanie he’s just trying to help besides you can’t make life decisions when you’re on painkillers.” He stated trying to smile a little as he gave the doctor an apologetic look.

“Doc yeah if you can start the paperwork that would be great.” He explained taking a much needed breath as the night was far from what he thought it would be when he had started shift that day. “And you heard the doctor right, saw the imaging, off the ankle for six to eight weeks so you can argue all you like but your foot isn’t touching the floor for that long.” He stated knowing there would be no argument he would hear about anything different.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

Stephanie had always gotten up and roamed around the house and the firehouse. Regardless of her surroundings, she just didn’t sleep. She nodded when he said it was just after four in the morning. Even that time of morning was her down time and when she was usually settled down. So it explained why she was tired. She leaned on his shoulder and rested her eyes shut.

“It’s four am, I wanna go to bed.” She admitted. Well it was an honest answer. The painkillers were not helping matters on that front. Right now she was on the good stuff. “You haven’t slept?” Oh she already knew the answer to that. If she was lucky, he’d taken a cat nap. Either way her husband was going to be a grouch. It was probably better to tread lightly.

Stephanie hated when Benjamin defended the doctors. Especially when they were being rude. Eyes clouded over and she went dead silent. No one got to be rude to her. Benjamin was getting silence but the doctor was getting her pent up anger. “You really need to learn to talk TO people instead of AROUND them. I can’t think of anything less tactful or rude.” Well her attitude probably constituted as rude; but Stephanie was in no mood to be treated like this.

The doctor wandered off to fix the paperwork, he was not going to deal with Stephanie’s attitude. When Ben reminded her that she wasn’t going to touch the floor with her broken ankle she didn’t give him anything to fight about. Though she knew it wouldn’t last. There was no way that he was going to be able to watch her 24/7 and she had an independent streak. That is what crutches were for.

SQUAD 3

HOUSE 51

Benjamin Taylor

callmekitty at adoxography

[Benjamin Taylor]

Ben gave her a lopsided grin when she said she wanted to go to bed. Yeah it was four AM and he wanted to go to bed too but he had no idea if and when the hospital would let her out at all. He was still struggling with the fact that she had done something as drastic as walking off the roof. Sure he had been there when she had gone down that road before; she ran or struggled but never anything like that before. It was a whole new deadly issue he thought and one he was going to get her help for.

“As soon as they let you go, you can get to bed I promise.” He said as he was sure he would make sure to watch her so nothing else happened. “I’ve slept, I was asleep when you... well I slept then.” He replied knowing he was hardly in the best of moods but it was just like a call out. You never knew when you were going back to the house. “Besides this isn’t about me, it’s about you.” Ben added not wanting her worrying about his sleep pattern when really he could nap any time at all.

Then came the silent treatment, sure the doctor was being rude but he only cared about what the doc had to say about his wife being alright. The rest was just white noise in his head. Ben waited until the doctor wondered off to fix the paperwork when he glanced at Stephanie. “Steph you’re on painkillers... not like you’re going to be making any choices right now.” Ben stated trying to let her understand why he was listening to the doc.

He chewed on his lip for a moment before he glanced at her not sure how to even say anything anymore. “Steph, you need to see someone about this.” He stated not going to take no for an answer on it, not if she was walking off a roof and had no idea. “You can’t keep going on like this anymore, not when you’ve no idea what’s going on around you.” He explained, what if it had been traffic? What if she was home with Zach and Grace or what if no one was there for her at all?

No there had to be something, he could hardly leave her home but then could you get a sitter for an adult? Then again it was Stephanie and he figured she would be stubborn and independent so who was going to last long enough to deal with it all. No she had to talk to someone about it, someone who could help her like Brittany. She was a shrink for the firehouse and who knew what Boden was thinking about it all, a fire-fighter walking off the roof when on duty. Next shift was going to be an interesting one.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

Stephanie was about to give in when he mentioned her needing to see someone and her not making choices on her own right now. Grabbing her cellphone she hurled it at the wall. Shattering cases was just something she did when she was angry. Her outbursts of tantrums were normal and people making choices for her was one of the biggest triggers. She’d tried that once and her whole team had ended up paying with their lives.

“You can’t just fix this Benjamin.” She bit her lip and looked away. “No one can help. Don’t you get that?” Stephanie was seemingly upset. “They can’t go back in time and fix it!” Her voice was raising in decibels. “No one can bring them back. No one had my back, no one brought them home!” Closing her eyes she reopened them.

“It’s not like anyone can fix my sleep walking. It’s like I’m there in my head. Everything, every day.” She was trying to explain it was all related. “Talking to someone isn’t going to help Ben. It just isn’t.” She was scared, more scared than she wanted to admit. Scared she was going to lose her job, her sense of reality and everything else that could be thrown at her. Though admitting she was scared wasn’t in the cards for her. Stephanie would continue to cover the fear with anger as was her way.

Stephanie made a mental note to talk to Boden. She’d only told Ben about things because it was only fair he knew what he was getting into with her. Stephanie stared down at the floor, she’d worked so hard to get where she was. Yet, she felt like she was watching it all crumble. “I need to talk to Boden.” She resolved. If anything, just him being aware of what was going on, could he really hold that against her?

SQUAD 3

HOUSE 51

Benjamin Taylor

callmekitty at adoxography

[Benjamin Taylor]

Ben backed off when he saw her phone shatter, he knew she was angry but then he was only trying to help her. He could hardly just sit back and not try to help, sure the last few times he had tried it had ended in an argument but at this point he was willing to argue with her until the bitter end. She had walked off a roof and by some miracle he was in the ER with her and she was well enough to argue with him. He was hardly going to take that for granted and even if he had to push her to see someone he would do whatever he could to help her.

“I’m not saying the past can be fixed Stephanie but I can’t just sit here and wait until it isn’t just a broken ankle.” Ben snapped, normally he might have had a lot more patience but tonight he was tired, scared and afraid of what was going on with her. “Your right no can bring them back or home but you’re home. You’re right here and I’ve got your back now, you’ve a house full of people that have your back.” He explained trying to be as calm as he could about things but he knew it was a fragile line.

“Maybe they can’t fix it but it might help. I’ve no idea how to help you Stephanie but tonight... tonight this is too far for me not to get you help of some kind.” He stated trying to keep his voice flat and calm but that failed the minute he had opened his mouth to speak. Ben knew Stephanie well enough to know that anger covered her fear but then he would take any amount of angry thrown his way if it meant she was safe. It was all he wanted and if he had to stay up all night to make sure there was no more walking off roofs then he would do it gladly.

Ben could hardly think what Boden would do, put her on leave and force her to seek help or just end her career as a fire-fighter without batting an eye lid. “I think the cats out of the bag with this. Stephanie you need help or I don’t know what will happen to you. What if you were with the kids? Or it was a higher roof? Aren’t you at least willing to try and see if it helps?” Ben asked her not sure what to say or think. He wanted to hug her to death because she was relatively safe and alright for that moment but he was mad at her too for stubborn and angry.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

Stephanie was in such a state of mind that when Ben snapped she flinched and snapped her anger in his direction. “You can’t possibly understand Ben! You can’t even get your head around it so don’t sit here and snap at me. I don’t trust anyone who does understand enough to talk to them about something that hurts that bad. Have you even tried to understand what goes on in my head? Or do you just think yelling at me is going to fix it all?” She furled a fist and hammered the bed. She took a few breaths to try and collect herself.When Ben said he had her back, it sunk in. She wasn’t alone, but that wasn’t the point in all of this and she knew it.

“Talk to Peter. He’s the only one who understands.” Peter knew how to handle Stephanie on her hardest days, and when she was struggling with everything going downhill. Stephanie would talk to Peter, but even he didn’t know the truth of what happened in Bulgaria. Yet, he still knew how to handle her on her worst days.

“Zach knows how to handle things.” It was the hard truth of the matter, but Zach knew how to handle her from doing something stupid. It was then the door cracked open and Zach showed his face. Stephanie sighed. “Speaking of the devil.” She joked.

Zach shot Ben a glare. “I can hear the two of you down the hallway.” He knew once Stephanie started going it was hard to stop her. Zach wasn’t sure of what to think of Ben on some days and he was protective of his mother. “Ma, look at me.” Zach said when he sat down beside her but was facing her. “Focus on me for a minute and take a breath.” He knew better than to use the words calm down. Stephanie’s eyes followed towards Zach and she took a few deep breaths. That was when Ben started talking about her being with the kids. “She sleepwalks. Maybe you should pay a little more attention.” He responded.

“Zachary Harris.” Stephanie sent him a glare.

“Sorry Ma…” He looked towards Stephanie and retreated from going after Ben. Zach was protective of his mom. He looked towards Ben and tried to explain. “She has the support system she needs, you just gotta know where to look.” He explained before moving back against the wall once Stephanie had settled down.

SQUAD 3

HOUSE 51

Benjamin Taylor

callmekitty at adoxography

[Benjamin Taylor]

Stephanie was right, he was struggling to understand how his wife would walk off a roof but then it was as much a shock to him as it was to here. Ben knew how much words could hurt and anyone who told anyone otherwise was a fool however he had completely underestimated how much those words Stephanie said would hurt him. It felt like a knife to his chest as he just stood there and glanced at her, utterly speechless for the first time in a while. Had he even tried to understand what went on in her head?

Was that truly what she thought? Ben realised that Steph was angry but that, well angry was one thing but now he really did want to yell though he knew it would never fix anything. He was foolish at times but not entirely without thoughts. “I try to understand everyday because I want to understand but you do not want that.” Ben stated trying to be truthful without trying to throw the knife right back. “I’m yelling because I’m scared that I could have lost you tonight, I’m yelling because when I woke up my wife had taken a walk of the room. I think I’m allowed a little leeway on that.” He replied trying to calm down though when the conversation came back to who understood.

It was all he wanted to do, understand what she was going through understand so he could help her get through it or deal with it. It never happened overnight and he never expected it to but at least he thought she might have let him in a little more. Ben was about to argue about a teenager knowing what to do before he did but then Zach showed his face and Ben tried to smile. It was the same smile he would have with Grace with the world was falling apart and he never wanted her to know it or worry.

A glare was what he received for his troubles, no Zach was Steph’s kid there was no use in starting an argument. Ben stood back and watched Zach deal with Stephanie, even her kid knew more of what to do than he did but it was hardly for a lack of trying on his part. Ben kept his mouth shut at Zach’s response, step parent or parent he knew when he was only going to get an argument right back. Then came the support system comment, Ben was glad that Stephanie had but right now he felt like the entire system had just failed.

Against his better judgement Ben stepped forward again. “Steph sleepwalks yes, I know this Zach. Despite what you think of me, I'm not entirely an idiot. She never sleepwalks off a roof, she could have been killed do you understand that Zach? Are we clear with that?” Ben asked, he wanted to make sure that part hit home because it was fine well talking to Peter, having Zach telling her to focus but he was asleep. They all were and Stephanie was up and walking around. He knew there was no way he could keep himself awake for the rest of his life, just on the off chance and sure tying his hand to hers so if she did sleep walk he would know. He doubted Steph would be for that option at all.

“Her support system failed so obviously it isn’t working as it should and all I’m asking is for you Steph to let me understand, to get some help so that I’m not standing here with you because you could have been killed! I don’t care who you need to talk to, how much it costs or how far we have to go. I’m not losing you to this and I’m not giving up on the fact that there isn’t anything that can help. I love you Stephanie and this is as much part of you as anything but it’s hurting you. It’s dangerous and we need to work this out.” He stated as he stepped back again as he leaned against the wall. Slamming his head against it a little too hard but then he hardly cared about that right then. "Hell I'll even get certified as a shrink if I need to, anything to help." Ben stated not sure if that was way to far out of his wheelhouse but it would be worth it if it meant Stephanie was alright.

Stephanie Taylor ,

[Stephanie Taylor]

Stephanie was upset about the entire situation. Ben was sitting here yelling at her and it was the last thing she needed. Tears streamed down her face. “You are the one person who SHOULD understand me! I would not have said I do if I didn’t want you in my life Benjamin. So don’t you dare.” Stephanie was irate again and Zach wasn’t having it. The teen got up from where he was sitting and stood between his mother and Ben.

“She’s upset. This is your fault!” The teen accused Ben and narrowed his eyes but kept himself between the adults. “You can’t sit here and accuse her family of not being here for her!” Zach ignored his mom’s stern voice telling him to knock it off. “No mom I will not stop. In fact, I’m going to call Uncle Peter because you need to talk to someone.” Stephanie’s glares from the bedside did little to sway the irate teenager. Peter could convince her to talk to James, even if she wouldn't reach out herself.

Stephanie had to do things her way, and she wasn’t taking well to Ben telling her who she could and couldn’t talk to. Or that her support system made up of her family wasn’t good enough. Stephanie got up from where she was and putting her weight on her good leg pulled Zach to the side. “Ma! Let go!” He pulled his shoulder from her grasp and tried to maneuver around her. “He doesn’t get to treat you like this!” Zach was prone to snapping without his meds; but Stephanie could tell this wasn’t the case this time.

“If you knew how things worked, you wouldn’t need to threaten her with a shrink. She won’t talk to one. She talks to her siblings and her parents, they’ve earned her trust.” He tugged his arm away from Stephanie again. “If she needs to talk about her past bothering her, James has it all figured out. Owen’s the one she takes her emotions out on. Peter keeps her busy distracts her, protects her. Meg gives her someone to relate to. She went through what she went through so she could raise me, she never gives up on anyone EVER. She’s not perfect, no one is, but that doesn’t give you the right to yell at her! She needs you there for her, they can’t always be around and the more you yell at her the more she’s going to ignore you and push you away!”

Zach regrouped. “It’s a vicious cycle! It’s failing because you do nothing but yell at her when something goes wrong. She’s bottling up!” Zach about stormed out of the room but he saw Stephanie with her back turned to the arguing. She’d gotten silent. “You need rest Ma. I know its hard to rest here but you should try.” His voice was much calmer than the one he had been using to yell at Ben and it seemed to settle her down easier.

“Did you get all your homework done?” Stephanie tried to get Zach off his soap box and give him a reason to leave.

“Yes Ma. I’m gonna go call Uncle Peter.” Zach pointed towards the door.

“He doesn’t need to know.” Stephanie started to protest. Steph knew as soon as Zach opened his mouth to Peter, that things may get worse, not better.

SQUAD 3

HOUSE 51

Benjamin Taylor

callmekitty at adoxography

[Benjamin Taylor]

Ben had never meant to make Stephanie cry and he wished he had stayed silent the minute he saw those tears on her face. He was tired, frightened and worried about her which all led to one thing. He was hardly of sound mind to be having adult conversations though it seemed like there was little else to do other than adult conversation and working out what he could do to help her. “I’m trying to understand Stephanie but I can’t if you will not let me in. I get pieces of what is going on but I want you to know I’m here that I will do my best for you no matter what even if you hate me for it.” He explained as he saw Zach get up from where he was and stand between the two of them.

Great, just great exactly what he needed now was an angry teenager. “Her family can’t be there twenty four seven which is what I’m trying to say. Whatever the system is that you’ve got here Zach where was it tonight? It failed tonight and it only takes one second for thing to go wrong.” Ben stated trying to keep his voice level as getting annoyed with Zach was hardly going to help anyone and he wanted to be there for Zach as much as any parent would be even though he knew he was a step parent. Peter coming down, well that was going to go well considering the two had only recently become civil and friendly with each other.

Ben winced when Zach spoke about how he was treating Stephanie, arguing was what they did and just like work this was no different. He was trying to understand what was going on with her and he felt like he had no idea. Everyone else knew what to do and all he had to be armed with were the rules he knew which had failed in stopping her walking off the roof. He had failed in protecting family and that hurt, now Zach was accusing him of treating Stephanie badly. Ben stayed silent as telling Steph to go and sit down to take her weight off her leg was going to be the worst idea he had yet.

It was the four words Zach said that hurt the most, ‘they’ve earned her trust’. What did he think Ben was trying to do? Steph had married him, that required a certain level of trust unless he had somehow pushed her into it all and the woman he loved was about to turn around and say that was it. Grace always said he was his own worst enemy when it came to women and it would only prove he had a smart fourteen year old while his judgement was off on things. “Zach I’m not trying to push your mum away I love her and I want to help her and be there for her but I’m not Peter, Meg, Owen, James or her parents. I’m me and I’m just learning what to do here.” Ben said trying not to snap but there was a definite tone to his words.

“I yell because.. you know what no. You wouldn’t get it.” Ben stated as he watched Zach storm out of the room. He yelled because he cared, he yelled because he was terrified of losing her and he yelled because he had no clue what else he could do but that when he was learning how he could help her still. Ben knew Stephanie knew about his family, he hardly spoke about them much as really he had little to say. They were gone and that was about the sum of it, his mother was still alive but he was sure she was the devil or had turned into one the minute she blamed him for his father and brother’s death. His family now consisted of Stephanie, Zach and Grace and the thought of losing any one of them, well he would yell until he was purple in the face if that would help.

Ben watched Zach and Stephanie as he listened to their more normal conversation until Stephanie started to protest the call to Peter. Ben took a few tentative steps toward Stephanie as he reached out a hand to rub her back lightly. He had no idea how she would react since it appeared he seemed to be the issue. “Steph, would you like to sit down again? To rest up?” He asked her know better than to tell her to get some rest and sit down. All Ben wanted to do was to hug Stephanie, to make sure she was happy and safe and yet he was trying to fight about every emotion that told him to yell as he could feel the sting of tears in his eyes. No he could hardly do that he thought as he took a breath and just stood there as he waited to see what Stephanie would do or say.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

When Ben put his hand on her back, Stephanie flinched. Not many people dared to touch her when they were upset. So it came more as a surprise. Rule One, never yell at Stephanie. The one rule he broke so many times and he couldn’t see that it only made things worse for her. Stephanie twirled her fingers about in her hair, focus on something other than what was going on. Sometimes she knew how to handle herself. The yelling lead to Stephanie yelling, and then breaking. But she didn’t forget things like that. They piled up, and she remembered.

She’d gotten yelled at for doing her job, she’d gotten yelled at for not doing her job, and for things that were out of her control. She was still heavily dosed on pain killers. The room was spinning a bit and Stephanie used the wall to support herself but was staring at the ground. “I can’t make you understand Ben. I’m done trying.” She fidgeted with her hair and laid back down as her emotions came spilling down her face.

Stephanie was crying, but deep down she was angry. Stephanie had tried talking to Ben and it got her no where. Though her words she didn’t realize were coming from her mouth. “I’ve tried talking, I’ve tried getting him to understand. Hell, the only one who gets me has four legs and a fluffy tail.” The puppy she had at home had an affinity with Stephanie that was hard to understand. He could sometimes calm her down.

The door cracked the door open and dropped Stephanie’s ever growing puppy into the room. The Rottweiler ran over to her bed. It was far from allowed but she had an idea where it came from. Achilles put his head on Stephanie’s lap, he could tell she was upset. He started licking at her hand. “You aren’t supposed to be here.” She stated patting the dog’s head.

It was then a voice came in the door. It was Brittany. “They can’t kick a service dog out.” Brittany explained. Her words were directly straight at Ben. "I take it she never told you the story of Achilles?" Brittany came over and sat a bit away. “CFD sent me. We have to talk Stephanie. I know you don’t want to talk..”

“I’ve tried. No one understands. I’m done talking.” Stephanie explained.

Brittany looked towards Ben. “I’m going to have to talk to Boden. In the meantime, I am going to recommend she be discharged to heal at home. The hospital here, given what I got from her military records… it’s only going to harm her mental state more. But I think you and I need to have a talk.” She stated firmly.

SQUAD 3

HOUSE 51

Benjamin Taylor

callmekitty at adoxography

[Benjamin Taylor]

To see Stephanie flinch broke his heart even more, he was trying to do the right thing by her and each time it seemed to be he would do the wrong thing. He would yell and that was no not a great idea but they yelled at each other, it was what they did together because at least that way they were talking. Ben never took his hand back despite the insistent urge to as he felt it would be wrong for him to flinch back at her reaction. Ben had only a brief introduction to what he would be dealing with and for the most part dealing with it had been on the easier end of the scale, there had been nothing like this before.

“You’re done trying? Is that it right now, that you’re done?” Ben bit his lip as he stopped himself from saying anything further because he knew it would only hurt more. Ben was far from done, there was no done with this. Done with trying to understand this part of his wife and if it killed him to do so he was prepared to do that for her. When Stephanie would avoid talking what was he left with? The internet to try and find what to do but most of that had backfired in his face over the past few months anyway.

“The dog? You’re saying the dog get’s it over me?” Ben was stunned, did it really come down to the dog he wondered though really the dog was unable to talk back to so maybe that was his issue. If he talked less, had a tail and four legs that would be the right thing. Ben felt like telling her to marry the dog if that was what she wanted but then thinking straight in the middle of the morning after this was an impossibility. There was too much going on for him to focus and too much he was scared of losing to even say another word for fear of screwing things up any further.

With that Ben moved away as he saw the door open and the puppy enter the room. Oh so the four legged saviour has arrived he thought harshly, well she had the dog so what was the point in him being there anymore. Yeah the dog was unable to hold a drivers licence so yes he still had a use he thought though he never voiced any of that conversation in his head. Better to be silent after all the dog was so it went hand in paw did it not.

Ben barely registered Brittany was at the door until he saw her though when she directed at him he listened. “No, she never told me.” Ben said taking a quick breath, much like the hundred other things she had never told him about and the hundred after that. Ben raised his brow at Brittany when Stephanie said she was done talking. “Done talking.” He repeated in the most deflated tone he possibly owned. “So we can go home now?” Ben asked as he wanted to get Stephanie out of the hospital and home as soon as he could. Home was a familiar ground he knew of; home was the place where things made sense to him.

“Brittany, I don’t think talking is going to do much good anymore. The dog knows more than I do.” Ben stated as he glanced between Brittany and Stephanie. “Done trying, done talking, done yelling and I can’t possibly understand it.” He about put the last conversation into around twelve words that seemed to hurt him each time they were mentioned. He had no idea what to do or how to help and each time he tried it just seemed to make everything worse which only added to things.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Shelli]

Stephanie settled in Ben's touch once she realized whose it was. Her hand even reached for his. Her way of silently showing the fact he was here made a difference. "Ben." His name was a whisper on her voice calm even. Even as the dog laid beside her, she didn't let go of Ben.

Then Ben made the snide remark about her being done trying. Stephanie swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't have the strength to explain right now." She replied. Stephanie darted her eyes to the ground. Sometimes she just needed someone to hug her and let her get the emotions out.

Stephanie looked at Ben. He was missing the point. Though she wasn't going to bait Ben by answering that. Achilles was trained to respond to Stephanie's emotional state.

When Ben moved away Stephanie reached out for him. What was he doing walking away? Panic set in and she started breathing irregularly. Achilles jumped off the bed and pawed at Ben trying to bring him towards Stephanie. Giving up the dog went to lay by the foot of the bed.

"Part of what happened to her, she does remember but she remembers the hospital." Brittany explained. "I think given the circumstances that yes she's better off healing at home." Brittany continued. "She's not likely to talk here."

Stephanie started to shake. Achilles licked her good leg where he saw skin laying. "She was assigned Achilles after the fire. He's trained to alert someone when she's sleep walking, nightmares, or just in a panicked state."

Stephanie heard Ben's tone and she cringed. "I want to explain. Promise you won't yell at me?" She was scared to talk here of all places. Stephanie was afraid. She'd been trying to tell him what she needed. He'd not listened. "I want to go home." She tried again. For whatever it was worth.

Benjamin Taylor

[Benjamin Taylor]

Ben watched as Stephanie reached for his hand and settled to his touch, he often wondered what he should do or if being there only made things worse for her. “It’s okay.” He managed to say still not entirely sure what to do, the dog had more of an idea than he did these days and that worried him. Had they rushed things and he wanted to understand he really did but when he was learning everything from scratch it felt as if his learning was far from fast enough.

“I get that, I really go.” Ben replied, his strength to deal with things was wearing thing given he was tired and usually he was a nightmare when tired but this was above and beyond. He was frightened of what might have been that night, scared that Stephanie had been hurt and no clue what to do to fix any of it and now he had managed to yell and likely cause a bigger issue. Grace might have been right in her assumptions all along about him ruining things but now was hardly the time to debate that in his head.

Ben glanced at Achilles when he started to paw at him, he had no idea what the dog wanted. Let out for the loo maybe? He listened to Brittany and nodded, hospitals were a bad place he understood that one with ease. “Home it is then.” He said with a sigh not sure even that right now could help but he was willing to do whatever it took to make sure that Stephanie was safe and alright. It was all he ever wanted even if he did have a funny way of showing it at times.

It felt like everything was happening in slow motion, everything that possibly could have gone wrong had done and now it felt like he was there but not really present for any of it. So the dog was supposed to alert him how? For a second Ben wondered about Achilles scratching at his leg, maybe there was no need for the loo. “So the dog will let me know?” Ben said as he saw Stephanie cringe.

“I won’t yell at you Stephanie, I just want to help you. I won’t yell at all.” He said quietly as standing away from her seemed to be the wrong thing on all levels. Ben walked over to Stephanie as he patted Achilles for a moment before he reached out to hug Stephanie. It might have been all too late but he was trying to work out what to do about things, how to help and how to understand. “You’re going home Stephanie, I promise you. You’re going home as soon as we can.” Ben said in a much softer tone than previously.

Stephanie Taylor,