In The Middle Of The Night - Tagged

[Stephanie Taylor]

Brittany spoke as Stephanie leaned on Ben. “She fights to make sense of reality at times. It’s not uncommon for her to be detached from things. What we see… she sometimes manifests into what happened to her. The roof, she may have been seeking higher ground. It may not have been a roof. In her head a plateau or a mountain. Somewhere she felt safe away from what was really going on in her head.” Brittany sighed as she looked towards Stephanie who wasn’t paying attention to the conversation in the slightest.

“Something may have triggered her. Something as simple as a sudden loud noise. Each trigger if different for each person. Talk to her, ask her what her triggers are. She knows.” Brittany sighed, “Guilt, Self-blame, Not wanting to talk, getting angry, becoming combative, her sleeping walking. Her impulsive behaviour and her failure to concentrate on things. The fidgeting. It’s all connected.” Brittany explained. “The likelihood of her talking to me is slim. She’s not a trusting person. Talking to you? It’s a lot higher than you realize. But you can’t push her to talk Ben. You have to let her talk to you when she’s ready. After you have her calmed down. Once she realizes where she is and that you aren’t some manifestation in her head.” There was another strong sigh.

“You could always try medications. There are a few out there worth trying. It might curb her anxiety, make her more comfortable expressing what’s bothering her.” Brittany leaned on the door. “You can’t just ask her how to fix it, but you have to talk with her. But she’s not going to talk unless she feels safe. Which means things have to settle down in her head first.” She was trying to explain.

“After everything happened. I woke up in the hospital. No one was around. When I got back to the States, they discharged me. Like I was broken. I gave them a decade of my time. I did all of that to raise my son. I’ve paid the price for it.” Stephanie explained burying her head. “Take me home Ben.” She gripped onto him tighter. That was around the time he said they’d go home as soon as they could. She relaxed some but still stayed more alert. It was certain she’d not get any rest here.

SQUAD 3

HOUSE 51

Benjamin Taylor

callmekitty at adoxography

[Benjamin Taylor]

Ben held onto Stephanie as he listened to Brittany talk. To say it instantly all made sense to him would have been a lie but the step by step guide Brittany was giving him, higher ground to get away made sense to him. In a fire if there was no way out find higher ground to get away from it, it was a common sense sort of thing despite the urge to be invincible to run out the door you knew was there. Ben rubbed Stephanie’s arm and back as he tried to make her feel as safe as he could, he only wished there was more he could do for her.

“Talking I can do that, we can figure out what her triggers are sure.” Ben said at least positive about that part of it, if he understood those then at least he could watch out for them and in turn hopefully that would help her. “All of it’s connected? All I want is for her to have a good night’s sleep, to be able to relax and just be Stephanie.” He said knowing that on her good days she was great, her smile, her laugh it was all there but in contrast to today it felt like that might be a million miles away.

“If you think it will work doc I will try, no pushing just her talking and me listening. I still think you’re overestimating what I can do here but I’m here for her no matter what.” Ben said not sure if Brittany was thinking things were better than he thought they were, Stephanie talking to him there had been so much to talk about and he had tried but it never seemed to the right things. To know all of this from a doctor and not from Stephanie, well he knew he needed to help her but maybe trying too hard to do that was his issue. If he let her talk rather than asking her to then maybe it could work better.

“I don’t know if she’d be happy with medication.” Ben said pretty sure it might be a no but then if he wanted her to talk and express what was bothering her maybe it was worth a try though it was her call not his. Ben was about to argue back that he was talking to her, he tried to talk but got no where though letting her settle first seemed to be a good idea. “Okay doc you win, settle first then talk but not to ask how to fix things.” Ben repeated not sure how much talking he could do but he would give it a go. At least with her leg the way it was she could hardly run too far away from him at speed.

“Stephanie listen to me, you’re never waking up alone in a hospital again. Preferably not being in a hospital is a good thing but I’m here no matter what. I’m telling you that you’re not broken, you’re perfect just the way you are and you’ve raised Zach to be a fantastic kid. They didn’t treat you fairly but that changes now.” Ben said determined to do all he could to help her, even if it meant staying up all night and talking or being in a hospital with her no matter what.

Ben glanced at Stephanie before looking at Brittany. “I’m going to take her home she isn’t settled here.” Ben stated as he moved to lifted Stephanie up into his arms if she would let him. “Rules or no rules she’s coming home now.” Ben told Brittany, no the hospital was the wrong place for her and home sounded like a fantastic plan.

Stephanie Taylor,

[Stephanie Taylor]

Stephanie laid on Ben’s shoulder as Brittany and Ben spoke. She calmed down because he had calmed down, her breathing calming down as she listened to his heart thump. “The calmer you are, the calmer she is.” Brittany explained pointing. “Yelling isn’t going to do any good. It feeds the combative nature of the beast. It’s a normal reaction to feel threatened in such a scenario that she’s going to lash back out. And endless cycle.” Brittany added with a sigh.

“It’s not easy being on the outside looking in.” Brittany explained. “She doesn’t like to talk about it because she wants to forget about it. She wants to be happy, not dragged back into what has her feeling broken in the first place.” She looked towards Ben and sighed. “When she came to the CFD, they require her to get psych evaluations every month. Since that was the reason for her military discharge. I have to report all of that to the CFD every month and she’s adjusting but she’s not dangerous to anyone and she’s not a danger to herself. This… roof thing was an accident. A result between sleepwalking and a nightmare all in one go.” Brittany was trying to explain things without overloading Ben but there was a lot to explain.

“She trusts you Ben, but trust comes hard for her. Psychologically she’s trying to guard herself against those she trusts betraying her. Not because she doesn’t trust them, but because a pattern has established itself somewhere in her life. Likely, I’m going to say it was her military career since she has a large family that she loves and trusts. Words really aren’t her strong suit. She may talk in the way she’s expressing herself. She tries to cover a lot of things with anger. She’s a strong woman. Fear, failure, self-doubt, all those other things I mentioned; she hides them. She’s expressing how she feels and that’s normal. I’d avoid phrases like ‘talk to me’ or ‘what’s wrong’ because it might not be anything wrong or maybe she won’t feel like talking at the time. I get her to tell me about her day. You could maybe try that at night? Find out her state of mind and what’s running through her head.”

“No she’s not settled here.” Brittany held out her card just before Ben picked Stephanie up. “Call me if you need anything.” She offered. “My cell number is on the back.” With Stephanie there was no telling when Ben needed to reach Brittany. Stephanie let Ben pick her up but tossed him a glare. She hated being carried; but in this instance she was going to let him because otherwise she might have to hear it all the way out to the car about how she was putting weight on her leg.

SQUAD 3

HOUSE 51

Benjamin Taylor

callmekitty at adoxography